12 Jun 2017, 12:08

I love learning art and everything related to drawing and creating art overall. My mind and way of thinking is completely analytical. I like to deconstruct subjects, and reconstruct them, with comparisons with other fields and subjects. For that reason I'm an accumulator of learning resources for all kinds of subjects.

For the past 12 years or so I spent thousands of dollars in courses and books (all online). The other day I was creating a spreadsheet with all my catalog and I was shocked to know that I had around 9,000 hours of drawing video courses in external HDs and 340 or so art and drawing books (mostly digital, just 3 physical). Also not counting all monthly subscriptions that I paid during these years (currently subscribed to SVSLearn and Skillshare). Since when I watch videos I accelerate them from 2 up to 3.2x times - thanks to VLC Player for downloaded videos or SpeedControl addon in Chrome for online content) - I watched a big chunk of those courses and I normally create annotations and clippings into Evernote, so I have a huge mental database of most subjects around art and drawing. I threw one of these HDs to the trash can in a rage quit day and I didn't even care nor I miss anything, because of the amount of stuff. I have now less than half of those video courses.

I also accumulate references. I am even ashamed to show how many reference materials I have.

PROBLEMS:

  • When it is time to really practice and draw, I keep researching and overthinking all the possibilities and "right way to do", that I end up freezing and then I never draw anything.

  • When I finally decide to start practicing or drawing a piece, my mind goes into an infinite whirling state comparing all the dozens of different anatomy/environment/whatever courses and approaches that I watched, that I go insane and can't move on, my energy drains out, and my allocated time for drawing ends and I have to focus back on my work. Definitely art is about balance between study and practice.

  • To make things even worse, if I manage to break through the 2 previous barriers, I always want to draw the "most perfect, unique and original" piece (EVEN FOR PRACTICE PIECES THAT I WILL NEVER PUBLISH OR SHOW TO ANYONE!).

A recent example: the June Treehouse contest from here. I didn't want to draw a simple treehouse as everyone else and a treehouse as we know it. I wanted to draw the "most amazing, unique and shocking treehouse ever". (I swear it is not on purpose, because I am a simple guy, but my mind plays these 3 words on me for everything that I want to create, not only art related hahaha).

For that, since the contest started (10 days ago?) I've spent 2-3h on the mornings drawing thumbnail concepts (yay I finally took the pencil) and gathering references around these concepts. When I finally like one, I think on another one and then the next day another one, etc. When it is time to draw, I am already burned and drained out because I don't know if I choose the previous one(s) or the new one, the fear of "what if I did that instead of this?"

I got so tired of the subject, that now I can't even think about "treehouse". And on my desk, there are around 30 sheets of paper with the thumbnails and concepts.

It is the first time that I talk about this subject in this way, but the last days really pissed me of (and drained me completely regarding art and drawing), specially that now I can only accommodate 1 to 3h daily for this and I never really use it in a productive way, instead, I spend overthinking or watching another anatomy/character/drawing fundamentals course.

Anyone that went through this? Any tips? Maybe a mindset so analytical, in the end, is really not fit for art?

PS: I am also a perfectionist with everything else, but at least in my field, software development, that helped me build my entrepreneurial path very quickly.

PS 2: This is completely the opposite to what I posted on another topic here, regarding "don't worry about pretty pictures, instead think that every drawing is a preparation for a next one". I can easily write about that, but I never managed to go through that route.