Slowvember WIP- Critiques please

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

Hi, everyone! I apologize for not sharing the process for this illustration. I’ve been swarmed lately and just didn’t have the time.

Anyway, before I deem the piece done, I would like to ask for your thoughts and critiques. Looking at it now, I can see that I need to work on the wheel shadows of the bike and the background vehicles. But my main concern is on the chracters. As you can see, my girl character is ill. I wanted to show that she has cancer and her brother has snuck her out of the hospital for a slow bike ride around town, knowing this might be her last. Now, my problem is that I’m a bit scared people might see my work as insensitive given how heavy a matter having cancer is. Also, given that my previous pieces were on the somber side, i’m afraid i’m playing an old tune and you guys might find it already boring.

I would really like to hear what you guys’ take on that. Thank you so much.

[Johanna Kim]

I love this image. For me, I didn't see the cancer at all. Instead, I saw two sweethearts, the girl is just sleepy and her boyfriend is slowly and as quietly as possibly, trying to bike her home. Now that I know the cancer element, I don't see this as insensitive at all. It still looks like a tender moment, just with an added bittersweet element.

[nasvikdraws]

Very strong piece. Visually it is superb just as your other pieces
Just like @Johanna-Kim I didn't see the backstory that you described but then it hit me hard. Just like your last piece. I am glad that you are exploring somber themes. I don't find it insensitive at all. The juxtaposition of the warm light, adorable design and the serious theme emphasizes the strength of the narrative.
Side note: You can maybe add a few more clues ( eg. pattern to the hospital gown and a wristlabel) to help understanding the story. The boy's eyes could be worked a bit. I feel like he is not looking at the girl.
Overall it looks great. I love how you use color and light.

[Jonas Zavacky]

I totally agree with @Johanna-Kim ! It is a beautiful image... as I am looking on it - I am not focusing on the cancer undertone but on the relationship between these characters.

[Eli]

@nyrrylcadiz I also didn't get the backstory at all until I read your text. Like @Johanna-Kim I thought they were sweethearts and agree with @nasvikdraws that more clues could be added. It's a lovely image--the light is beautiful and the whole thing is treated so sensitively. (Not insensitive at all, in fact, quite the opposite! The main character here is love; the illness is important but secondary) I love the themes you're exploring. You're really versatile and can capture these emotions. Please don't stop--you're really doing great stuff lately!

[Kristin Wauson]

Great piece! I thought she was sick when I first saw it, but wasn’t 100% sure. I definitely got a sense that she was frail and he was taking care of her. I don’t think it’s insensitive at all.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

Hi, everybody! Here’s an update on th piece. Since you mentioned that the girl character didn’t immediatey suggest that she’s ill based on your first glance, I decided to add a breathing tube to further emphasize that detail. Please let me know what you think. Also if you see anything wonky-looking or something, please feel free to point them out. Thank you.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@Johanna-Kim Thanks! I hope you find the newer version conveys the cancer detail better. I was actually considering making them sweethearts if the ailment theme doesn’t work out. Thanks for sharing your criitique.

@nasvikdraws I’m really goad you like the piece. I’m kinda unsure with the lighting though. I’m not sure if it’s too much or not. I hope the newly added clues help relay the message better. I also see what you meant with the boy’s eyes. I fixed the a bit and made him shed a few tears. Please let me know if you think the tears are just overkill. Thank you very much.

@Eli Thank you! You know, I guess they could very much be sweethearts too. I haven’t really set up a fixed relationship for these 2 characters. I guess they could be siblings, lovers, or just friends, depending on the viewer. I hope the added details emphasizes the cancer bit more. Also, it’s really great that you mentioned the theme of Love. I haven’t really thought about that when making the piece. I was thinking of something serene and sad. Now, that you’ve mentioned it, it opened my eyes more as well to the piece’s depth. Thank you so much.

@Jonas-Zavacky thank you! I hope you like the new version as well.

@Kristin-Wauson i hope this new piece conveys that clearer. Thank yuo!

[Eli]

@nyrrylcadiz I think you nailed it! Now it's pretty clear what is going on, and it still has the warm, glowing love. Very sweet and sad but beautiful, too.

[demotlj]

Really nice work. I was impressed at how you managed to make the girl’s eyes look sick or frail in the original but the oxygen tube really tells the story now.

[Johanna Kim]

@nyrrylcadiz Perfect fix! Your concept is clear and it fits the theme. Such a sad idea but executed brilliantly as usual.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

Hi, guys! Just curious on what you think about that store sign in the background. I really think it may need some more work.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@eli @demotlj @Johanna-Kim Thank you so much! I’m really glad you guys like it. Is there anything you think I should work on more?

[Amelia Bothe]

This piece looks absolutely wonderful, and the story behind it is heartwarming and beautiful! Very successful overall. A small change that might benefit it further is a slight change of the boy's eyes. To me, it looks like he is looking towards the ground, not his sister. Angling them more downwards and to the left will make it look like he's looking at her more, especially if we can't see the full circle of his irises!

[NelliA]

So beautiful, such a warm atmosphere! Not insensitive, just really lovely. I like that you added the breathing tube, I think it was a good decision. I actually like that the store sign is soft and doesn't stick out. Great work!

[Eli]

@nyrrylcadiz The store sign looks fine to me...

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

I just finished this piece and submitted it. I don’t know if they’ll still consider it given the late submission. Nevertheless, I wanted to show you guys the finished product. Probably the hardest part of this piece is my characters’ faces. It’s really hard to convey emotion especially those you don’t draw quite often, especially the boy’s. I honestly did not know how to make him look sad yet happy at the same time without him looking smug or indiferrent. Anyway, here it is. Thank you so much to everyone who shared their thoughts and critiques. Thank you!