@Kevin-Longueil Gorgeous piece so far. Love the way you render people. Re: the story, the man is reading a little booklet and holding a feather in one hand, and in the other hand, petals are levitating. He seems to be performing some sort of magic spell, and I assume it's for the benefit of the mermaid, but the purpose is unclear (i.e., she doesn't seem hurt in any way). The man also looks unfazed by the mermaid, which seems surprising, and makes me think that they must know each other fairly well by this point in their story together. Her expression and leaning away from the levitating petals seems apprehensive and slightly afraid. There's also a metal object in the bottom left-hand corner, which resembles a compass--perhaps they're making their way somewhere. Hope these observations help. Excited to see how this piece progresses, and learning more about the story.

@nyrrylcadiz Wow, you're sooo fast, and sooo good! That ramen looks delicious. I'm still stuck in the concept stage (sigh!). For me, #1 is more clearly communicating its message. The girl is surprised by the mermaid, who's sort of threatening to use her claws for self-defense. I don't think #1 is flat.

Re: #2, I interpret the girl to be shushing the person behind her, and her intent is unclear.

@nyrrylcadiz Oh, I see. I like it! Then I think a considering gesture for the girl might help (e.g., left hand to chin, or to her temple) and her gaze should be directed towards the mermaid because right now, it's taking us out of the scene. Also, it should be clear to the viewer that the girl has actually noticed the hiding mermaid. Love the single shell solution for the mermaid's chest coverage.

@nyrrylcadiz I love both ideas so much!! With the ramen version, this could be really strong since it's simpler, but what is the little girl looking at? Would it be cropped this way? Or did you mean to have her looking at something in the background? It would make more sense for her to be looking hungrily at her ramen, ready to dig in.

@marine I like your concept and the mermaid seller is super fun. I think you don't really need the wink. I'd rather prefer that she be looking at the boy in front of her. The man with suspenders - suggest moving him a bit left, as his crotch is sort've lining up with the docking cleat in the background. With suspender man, I wonder if he could have a more pensive gesture, with his right arm up and his hand under his chin or scratching his head, as he compares the mermaid on the truck to the lady. Love the old sailer guy running for his fish and chips. Maybe to add more storytelling, the boy could have a friend (girl preferably since there aren't any other females) and she could already be snacking on her fish and chips on the side, and just noticing the fish tail in the window? Or a seagull could have landed on the front of the truck and is peering into the front window? Not really necessary, though as you've got lots of story already. Your values look fine to me.

@Laurasketches Haha, yes. I totally had that thought, although that would mean a complete redraw. I'm all for doing that, however, I'm just wondering if this particular piece can be saved. It may be that the answer is no. Still, I appreciate you posing the question.

@Whitney-Simms I think this watercolor looks gorgeous. Maybe to help differentiate from the mid-values, you could deepen some of the shadows with a thin wash of purple, esp. under the awning? I did a rough drawover showing what I mean, plus added a piece by Iraville for inspiration.

@hannahmccaffery Thank you so much for all your helpful notes and encouraging words! I will definitely explore making all those changes.

@KathrynAdebayo Thanks for your very helpful questions and comments. Regarding story, I'm trying to show the relaxing and unsuspecting pool loungers about to get a surprise splash. I'll probably opt for a compromise between clearing the pool completely and simplifying the loungers. Lee's drawover is so strong that it's tempting to clear everyone out, leaving just one character, which is actually how my original thumbnail looked. The moment I strayed from my thumbnail is probably where things went sideways for me. Ugh.:)

@Sara-Hickman Thanks for your notes and question. I intended for the zebra to just be noticing her, but you're right. His hand and arm gesture implies catching. Weird that I hadn't even caught that. I'll probably eliminate or minimize him. Thanks also for mentioning that book. I hadn't heard of it, but just looked it up. It's challenging finding characters that are original these days.