@Coreyartus I salute your diving in to a project that's keeping you up at night in dialect.
And @Aleksey - I salute your project as well.
I'm with you-I'm launching into a comic project. I got a spot in the CGMA Making Graphic Novels class that starts later in January; created and taught by Jason Brubaker. There are times when I feel like I've jumped in WAY over my head, and then other times when like you-I need to set the learning-as-the-goal to the side a bit and just Do The Thing.
I like your thumbnails-my favorite is 8--but I chose it as the "one" scene that will set your story. Like others have said, depending on what you're trying to accomplish in this panel, that will help point out what we think will help you convey it.
Are you using any writing techniques or tools?