April Contest WIP Critique



  • Hey guys! I decided to try for more of a comic approach to this month's art contest, and was wondering if you could help me figure out which of the two versions read better story wise.
    Also if there are any other constructive critiques that you could give to the story, feedback is welcome!
    AprilContest_DraftA.jpg
    AprilContest_DraftB.jpg

    Thanks!



  • Personally I prefer option B. I actually think you could do without the speech bubbles in the bottom left panel as well. Maybe I'm just being slow but it took me a few seconds to figure out what the symbols meant at first. Perhaps you could simplify the symbols so the little girl's speech bubble is just scissors and a question mark and the women's speech bubble is a drawing of the haircut she wants (similar to the icon in option A showing the hairstyle the girl wants). I think the overall concept is great though and I love the character's expressions! Looking forward to seeing the finished piece 🙂



  • @Annabishop I agree B and I don't think you need the speech bubbles in the bottom left panel either. This is a great idea and very cute!



  • @JoshSchouwstra I agree with B and @Annabishop 's take on losing or simplifying the speech bubbles. Other than that, I think everything looks great.



  • Thanks @Annabishop and everyone for the feedback! My first leaning was toward B, but wanted to see if it needed more; guess it didn't 😛
    Working on the colour and refinements now. Will hopefully post those later.



  • This is really fun. I look forward to seeing more!


  • Moderator

    This is cute. If you keep the speech bubbles then I would either remove the haircut symbol and keep the scissors only or change the haircut symbol. At this size I thought the woman was a teacher grading the robot assignment. I thought the hair symbol was an A and the scissors “ok”. lol. I thought the robot was getting revenge for getting -1 less than an A.
    🙂😜



  • And now colour!
    Wondering if you guys see any lighting problems, or if there is some problem that I missed.
    AprilContest02.jpg

    Thanks for the help!