Book Dummy Finished page- Please help



  • I am working on a finished page for my book dummy and I just need some fresh eyes. This one has a lot of little pieces of trash and I want to make sure that there are no weird mistakes that jump out before I go to paint.
    The 3 characters are sadly looking at a pile of litter that, if unchecked will cover the planet. The space in the lower middle is where the text goes.
    Please feel free to speak your mind.
    Thank you in advance. 😬
    Ps sorry for the bad lighting. I tried to pop the lines as best I could so you could see them.
    ![alt text](![image url](0_1538776314205_2F7683AF-2F82-4414-A816-A0388AD2E790.jpeg image url))



  • It looks pretty good to me. The only thing that bothers me a little is that cloud right behind the head.

    Look forward to the painting. I like to paint the background with a very light wash so I can distinguish things better when there are a lot of details like that. Maybe that will help you?



  • This image reads so well - I can totally get the scope of what these children are seeing and the concern in their eyes read so well.
    When images have this many objects I love to play the "Find the Tangents" Game. Although this time it was a pretty boring game - because I didn't find any - so thanks a lot 😉

    I feel like Marsha is right about the cloud, but I also like that that space is being filled - maybe it's because its the only one and needs a couple of smaller friends? I'd be curious to hear what other people have to say about it.

    I threw together this little over-draw on photoshop to illustrate two things - 1. I think it's really smart how you gave the center character room to breathe between the trash so that we could read his expression, but the trash heaps on either side of his face feel a little too balanced, and cause some slight tangents on either side of his face. It might help just to play with that moment a little more. Lastly, I think this is the perfect image to utilize some foreground heaps of garbage, like you did with your studio-50things illustration.

    I'm really enjoying the complexity with this piece, and I keep going through and finding new pieces of trash in the pile. I'm looking forward to your color!0_1538810302999_Test.jpg



  • The only things that jumps out at me is the size of the objects in relation to one another - for example the glass bottle and coke can looks really big compared to the plastic bottle, bucket and tennis racket



  • @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen & @kaitlinmakes Thank you for saying that about the cloud. There are actually two. I neglected to notice that I didn't bring the second one over when I traced the original. Duh. Hopefully it doesn't stand out as much now that its more balanced.
    Kaitlin, you made me very happy when you said you couldn't find any tangents. I actually fist pumped. LOL!
    @NessIllustration I made some adjustments to the some of the more recognizable objects' sizes. I left the cola can alone though and made the boot bigger. I added some foreground stuff, but with the text taking up so much room in the foreground I couldn't go crazy on that unfortunately. I will remember to do that on some of the other pages where trash is predominant, though. Thank you!
    I added some little pencil marks indicating where the text lands.
    Thank you all for your advice. I APPRECIATE it!

    0_1538865406008_IMG_3590.JPG



  • @burvantill
    Yes! Can't wait to see the color!