Would love to give a critique

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    @laurel-aylesworth I love this Laurel!

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    Trying to figure out composition - still have to redesign moose as well. Any critiques welcome!0_1513956592115_mooseonloose.jpg

  • @will-terry I would appreciate any feedback you have time for on this piece. I am fairly new to SVS . Your classes have been very helpful. I am trying a career transition from Industrial Design to illustration. This is a stand alone sketch used for rendering practice. Not part of a larger story. I am a sketcher trying to develop my color and paint technique and less emphasis on line. Thank youalt text

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    0_1513962672309_me  two.jpg Hey Will, you can critique my slovember painting if you have time. Thanks 🙂

  • @julian-beresford Hi Julian - thanks for playing!

    I really like your subtle color scheme and textures - also your value relationship between the foreground and background is nice and legible. Here's what I would change:

    1. You're too zoomed in and I'm having a hard time understand what the structures the mice are actually sitting on? It's like if you tried to put this into words but you started in the middle of the story instead of giving your viewer set up. "...started swinging back and forth." but if you pan out you could be saying, "The mice jumped on the _________ (I don't know what they are) and started swinging back and forth". You have to realize that your viewer is coming in cold. So- you need to show us an entire___________ that they are swinging on - not have all of them cropping out of the image.

    2. Unless you wrote a story about mice with prehensile tails you should probably not give them powers they don't normally have - otherwise it draws a lot of attention to an aspect that isn't part of the story.

    3. Your drawing on the mouse in the foreground is a little off - it will come with more observation and practice.

    Thank you - I love the feel of this one!0_1513963043926_365736767.jpg

  • Hi Will, thanks for giving us this opportunity 🙂
    If I may, here's something to throw in the ring. I was proud of it last month but now it feels too empty in some parts and too full in others and everything feels too sharp? I'm not sure how to balance things out

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    @will-terry Hi Will, Thanks this is great, I think being too zoomed in is what was throwing me off. I've been playing around with adding more texture to my illustrations, so I'm glad that's working.

    I based my characters on the British harvest mouse which has a prehensile tail but I guess the viewer might not know that.

    I'm going to redo this one with your suggestion and repost it, Glad you liked it and thanks again, it's appreciated.

  • @pamela-fraley Thank you for posting this image! Your drawing and design are really nice. It really depends what you want to say with this one. I don't think there is much to change if anything if this is a gallery piece. If it's for decoration you may not want to change it.

    I'm usually in illustration mode so for the sake of this thread I assumed you might be trying to say something about this particular artist. If so - I would try to draw more attention to her than the rest of the objects in the room. As you have it everything that's a light color (white - off white) is contrasting against the dark blue walls - which gives everything of equal contrast - equal attention or focal point. If you knock all the non-essentials back in value and keep the contrast on the artist you can make a more powerful statement.

    I also changed her light to a desk lamp so the back and background in the upper right could also go dark to keep the eye out of the corner.

    Thank you,

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    @will-terry Thank you! It’s amazing how much that refocuses the piece! THis is actually an imaginative picture of me in my dream art studio... that I don’t actually have. I’d like to revisit it again, but since I work traditionally, it’ll be a bit. I really loved how accessible you made this assignment with the class.

  • Scary putting this up for a critique. Just to say, the box is supposed to cover grandads face. The writer has the grandfather a kind Wilson character from home improvement. It’s supposed to be early morning, but I couldn’t quite get the light right on it.

  • If we're still kicking it in this thread I have a feeling I will take a look back at some past works throughout this last year and make some modifications and adjustments. But one of my favorites I have done this year I definitely would like some overall general critique would be this one:
    alt text

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    @julian-beresford It's so cute!

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    Hi there,

    If you are still reviewing work, I would love this one to be done! Thanks!!

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    @bdyanne Thank you for letting me give you some suggestions on your art!

    1. I would get rid of the background. You should have a reason for every element in your image. Since your background doesn't help tell the story I think it's actually a distraction - "why are they in the middle of a large empty field?" Creating a vignette allows the viewer to fill in the blank.

    2. If you strongly define some leaves - you need to strongly define the leaves behind them. Another way to handle a complex form like a leaf pile is to keep it less defined and let the viewer's imagination fill in the blanks.

    3. I think you need to give your characters something to jump from - I gave them a sliding board but it could be a number of objects or forms. The way you have it - makes them look like they're floating since children can't jump that high.

    4. Use reference to draw a believable pose - I roughed this out but if you find photo reference of children "jumping down" or "jumping off" (google search) you'll tell a better visual story. Pay attention to fabric folds and body positioning.

    Thanks again!

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    @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen Thanks allot

  • Hi Will ,
    Thank you for starting this thread. I thought about posting this today anyway. After I saw that you have started a critique thread makes things easier. This is a project I have planned for 2018. I have been working on this painting for 2 days and I feel like there is something missing that would make this whole painting more interesting. Even though there are a few objects I find it is bland. I am wondering if it's the color variations in the toys, or is it not balanced? I'm not sure. Everyone's critique is welcome!

    Thank you

    0_1514343179243_New hat@0,5x.jpg

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    @amphailin Cute picture 🙂 I am having one problem and that is the sphere above the castle. I think if you moved it to the right a bit it would feel more balanced. Even though there is a pattern to the background it still seems to be a wide "blank" area on the right that could be nicely broken up if you moved it over. Also, one other thing s that the toy trunk seems a bit too close to the corner, like it wouldn't really fit. Maybe bringing the floor line up a bit along the back?

  • @eric-castleman Hi Eric,

    Since @Lee-White already critiqued this one I thought I'd try to talk about different things other than color.

    I love the feel of this one since as you probably know I love snow!

    Here's what I would change:

    1. I would get rid of the clouds - I always try to avoid white on white objects - this way your white snow covered trees can silhouette against the dark sky.

    2. I would gap the trees so the white rabbit can silhouette against the dark sky as well - the other non-essential rabbits can blend in with the trees.

    3. I would try to vary the shape patterns in your trees - I sort of indicated it in the main tree. Yours are so uniform that the pattern is so dominant in your illustration I think it becomes distracting.

    4. I would move your main tree out a bit to really hit that rule of thirds.

    Thanks for sharing!


  • @laurel-aylesworth

    Thank you for posting this! It's a really nice piece and I especially appreciate your deliberate attention to the composition!

    Here's what I would change:

    1. Your piece is so light and airy - I think your foreground is too dark and doesn't match the middle and background. Black often scares some children's book editors and art directors.

    2. If you lighten up the foreground a little you can add in some detail that I think is needed to match the level of detail in your main character. If you set a precedent for detail in the middle ground - the foreground has to have even more detail.

    3. The hill that the girl is on terminates in the middle of your composition - by extending it you'll hit the third better AND give her a better chance of riding out the hill when she continues. Remember that the ground cover needs to overlap that trail as it goes out of sight.

    4. Your girl is drawn well but it could be even better and this is where art buyers are going to scrutinize your image the most. Her hand seems a little large -I know right? knit picking but that's how perfect it needs to be.

    5. I wasn't reading her seed bag at first until I zoomed in. "If it ain't shape - it ain't" - shape gives your viewer the quickest "read" into the story you're trying to tell.

    Thank you!

  • @will-terry This is so great! Thank you very much for your time on this. I was worried about the foreground looking foreboding, which didn't match my composition idea, so lightening it up will definitely help. Yup, she's got a spatula for a hand - lol. I also love how you enlarged the foreground bunny as it draws in the eye more. I think someone else on the forum mentioned the abrupt ending of the hill, but I didn't understand it at the time -- but now I get it. Thank you thank you!

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