Independent - WIP



  • @laurel-aylesworth Hi Laurel,

    I really like this piece a lot!

    I think you could benefit from reducing the size of the hill - or cropping it out more. That will give you more space for your main character. I also think you should push the concept a little further. Either make the person on the scooter bigger to show the contrast between the couple and the rider - or - make the rider another skinny elderly person - perhaps even a couple on the scooter to show the juxtaposition. 0_1500916374552_45646554.jpg

    Going with the fat person could get you heat online...we live in a very critical world online...I like both options.

    Cheers,
    Will



  • @will-terry Thanks Will. These are all great suggestions, especially having two riders to contrasting with the slow couple on the right.



  • Don't really have a critique, but just wanted to say that I'm excited for this piece. It's really funny. When I was hashing out ideas in my mind for the independence theme, I thought there might be something in showing independence for the elderly, and this is the idea I wish I had thought of! 🙂



  • @tessw Thanks Tess! Lee really thought of a challenging one this month, that's for sure.



  • My eyes feel like they're about to pop out. If anyone has time to do a quick critique, it would be much appreciated. 0_1501356397146_independent4.jpg



  • @laurel-aylesworth This whole concept is awesome. One critique would be to maybe play with a very washed out tree line in the background with maybe an old folks home rooftop hidden subtly in it. Also maybe simple park bench down the winding path / flag pole. Thats just an idea....it might busy things up a bit to much. Really like your character gestures, expressions and shapes!



  • @tyson-ranes Thanks for your comments. Yes, I definitely need to busy up the background a bit. Will definitely work on that.



  • take a look at Will's sketch again. Give the path a bit more perspective, bring the ladies on the scooter down closer to the ground like in your original sketch, and the frog and squirrel need to be much bigger.



  • @laurel-aylesworth This is looking great - i think the thing i get a little stuck on is the anatomy of the scooter and the value range - i found a reference and did a quick sketch to see how it might look - i include a value cutout i did in photoshop (Lee White's advice to me in the past) - it looks like some things get lost without the color - maybe play with what is dark on light etc........a few really minor things that are just opinions are: i feel like we should see the side of her middle front roller? It looks like the scooter is shifted to our right a bit from center especially the back edge - the walker makes me think we should have a sidewalk for her - Just minor stuff really - i love the idea of this piece - really nice work!

    0_1501372252371_Jump.jpg

    0_1501372901637_cut out.jpg



  • @kevin-longueil Hey, you're good at these critiques. Maybe SVS has an opening for an instructor 🙂 Yes, you're so right about the anatomy of the scooter, which I'll work on next. And good observation about needing a smooth surface for the walker.



  • @kevin-longueil Also, what is a value cutout? Do you convert everything to greyscale in Photoshop and put some sort of layer adjustment?



  • @laurel-aylesworth Yes It is a filter in photoshop called "cutout" - I set it to 5 and then convert to black and white - it is a trick Lee shared a while back - really shows if we are getting the values right - thanks for the compliment too - I always hesitate to post draw overs 🙂