Why are we doing what we are doing (art, writing, whatever...)?
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I have been feeling the EXACT same thing! I notice I feel depressed when I don't draw for a while and when I get into a rhythm I'm the most confident person in the world, but it's also true that when I hear people who say "I never work because it never feels like work", I instantly look at my art and think that I have never really felt like that. I think art is hard, especially because of its emotional impact because what we do takes time and effort we can't easily get back, and the way to improve in this field is to go through MANY works of art that we cry over, to then patiently look over our mistakes, take it in, and then move on, which in general is a painful process. In the end, we do improve, but it's never easy seeing ourselves change whether it's our ideas or our views on the world. This is where people like @Jake-Parker and @Will-Terry come into my life. They've poured out their memories and their advice to the public online. I especially look to @Will-Terry as he talks about how hard art is, but he also talks about how it can get better if we just push through it. Jake Parker used to work for a studio, but then he found the chance to be able to work freelance and work on his own ideas! Will Terry used to work in editorial, but now I assume he's found his dream job in children illustration.
Basically, I think art is simply not easy, and may never feel so, but we all go through hard times and we all have to keep going
p.s: I love this video
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Art , for me can be therapeutic and it can also be painful. I often feel overwhelmed and "way behind" in what I want to be able to do. Sometimes I feel like a hamster in a cage but then, I find out I have actually improved a bit. I just keep running. I am pushing through my project knowing that it will never be as good as I want it to be unless it is the only thing I work on for life. When I painted my little monsters a while back for kids, that was fun! I'm going to do that again in October. It didn't matter if they were perfect but they were just fun and my fb friends enjoyed them so I got some relief from feeling totally miserable about my work for awhile
I sink and rise a little. That's what happens to me regularly but, there is something about the struggle that is good for me. It keeps me humble, that's for sure! Simona, you are one of my favorite artists. I'm so surprised you have to wait so long. Seems to me you would have been snatched up long ago! This is a painful business sometimes! I keep trying though so, it must be good -
This is a great question @smceccarelli, and it's one that I've been thinking a lot about lately.
I'm on reason 3 of why I do what I do. I kind of feel like each of these reasons is a layer of cake piled one on top of the other. Let me explain.
Reason 1: Doing it for me
The early years. I had a knack for drawing early on...but I admit, when I look at my early drawings they look no more special than any other kid who liked to draw. However, I got a lot of positive reinforcement from my parents and classmates, and that gave me confidence to to improve. I remember getting a rush when I would create things, sometimes with my art, sometimes with LEGO, sometimes it was just combining my toys into new creations. I loved putting something cool, that had my creative fingerprint on it, out into the world. I began to crave that feeling and I found myself in a cycle:
- step one: put myself in a position to get the creative rush
- step two: feed off the rush creating something as awesome as I could create
- step three: get positive feedback and reinforcement from parents, teachers, and peers on the thing I created
At every step I was feeling good things, and that's why I did what I did, to feel good. To keep those feelings coming I kept repeating the cycle.
What happens when you do something a lot, over and over and over again? You get good at it.
By the time I was in high school I was the best artist at the school. I was known as the kid who was good at drawing and was sought out to draw things for people. I designed a bunch of t-shirts, I was president of the Art Club (and we went on to win club of the year that year). I won the artist of the year award my senior year. So drawing and art was a central part of my identity.
Reason 2: Doing it for my responsibilities
When it was time to go get a job and make something of myself I realized I wasn't qualified, nor interested in doing anything that wasn't creative. I soon found myself working for an animation studio, getting married, and having a kid all in the space of 3-4 years in my early 20's.
Now doing what I was doing meant doing the thing I was good at, and letting personal satisfaction take a back seat to getting a steady paycheck. For about 12 years I grinded at different studios working on projects that I was sort of interested in (I wasn't super excited designing foliage for background environments in talking animal movies full of fart jokes). But I was getting better at my craft and supporting a family.
I was doing what I did to support a family and a lifestyle.
But I still craved the rush from phase 1, so I did a lot of personal side projects that allowed me to go through those 3 steps. I posted on forums, then blogs, then social media, then got work published. I got the rush of creating things I thought were awesome, and were things that I wanted to create AND got a lot of positive reinforcement from my peers.
Reason 3: Doing it to for the community
While the rush, and the money are still a part of what I do, I’m finding myself more and more motivated to share what I do with others as a way to improve their life on some level. That’s why I like teaching, I like making youtube videos that unpack issues/problems facing creative people. I like drawing things that have a story to them; they aren’t just pretty pictures, but hopefully they make someone stop and take someone to a place of imagination.
If I have a mission now, it’s to help elevate people’s ability to create good things. I want people to have that awesome feeling you get when you make something, I want them to get positive feedback from peers (that’s why I love what’s going on here on this forum) and I would love it if they could someday turn it into a career or a way to supplement their income.
So, to wrap it up. At first I was drawing because I wanted to do what was good for me.
Then that turned into drawing because I wanted to do what was good for those I was immediately responsible for.
Then that turned into drawing because I want to do what is good for the larger community.
All of this said, there's nothing wrong for remaining in one phase or another, or a combination of phases. If you draw because it is completely gratifying to you, you don't need any other reason to do it.
Anyway, thanks for this question. You helped me nail down some things I've been thinking a lot about and haven;t quite put into words until now.
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If I don't make art I start to get irritable and anxious and generally unpleasant to be around after a few days. So... I guess I'm an addict?
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There are some really great comments on here. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and asking the question!
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@withlinesofink i feel the same! Its my happy place;)
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@smceccarelli Werner Herzog - still remember "Aguirre Wrath of God" (long time ago!) So intense and dark - The quote you mention about money reminds me of similar quotes by Joseph Cambell and Carl Jung - must be something to it ..... this is totally off the subject but have you read "A Tree is Nice"? For some reason your treehouse piece made me think of it - i could see that piece in a book about summer or the changing seasons or fun - the text of the book being a simple poem or very short story like in "A Tree is Nice" ....random thought
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@jake-parker That's a great response. Thank you.
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@kevin-longueil I have seen only fragments of that film and it looked like the kind of thing that would give me nightmares for many years. Psychological horror is so much more powerful than "in-the-face" horror.
I have never read "A tree is nice". When I was painting that I was thinking of summer and friendship and a river I used to go to during the school holidays...and then I started reading mid-grade books
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I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately and the forums here have been helping me. I've been stalling somewhat because I was trapped with the idea of becoming a freelance Illustrator or wondering if I should be a concept artist just to try and pay the bills, but I have come to the decision that I don't really want to do freelance commercial or editorial Illustration at least for now anyway because I want to work on my own projects which I've been putting off time and time again due to stress about "getting a real admin type job", which I've never had much success or interest in and I can't really do anyway because of back and health problems. I had so many bad experiences doing freelance work when I did website design I still have a stigma about working with clients I have to sort out. As well as this my sister's friend and boss (for her colour work on his graphic novels) mr Doug TenNapel visited us the other day (he's just on holiday in the UK) and he told me I should work on my own story based projects and just finish something. He said the first thing will be crap, but it's important you finish it and prove to yourself you can do it, then do another one, and another one.... So that's my task. I've got to stop trying to come up with a logical reason to do it and just do it.
