10 Oct 2024, 21:01

@Fey-Realme Hello! I read your story (12 with a point). I really liked it! It reminds me of a fairytale. It has the special kind of feel all good fairytales have. I would have absolutely picked up this book at the library and read it as soon as I got home.

One thing that confused me was the dragon suddenly showing up. It felt kind of random. Is it there to highlight his blindness? I say this because it didn't seem to serve a deeper purpose. Because it has the spirit of a fairytale, it just strikes me as odd that one encounter with a creature didn't teach him anything.

Fairytales tend to function on the rule of 3s and there are usually 3 encounters (usually with three different animals/humans) before the hero reaches their goal. For characters like Wilhelm who need to learn, the 3 encounters would function as lessons. You do have 3 beings that he runs into before he comes to town -the dragon, miner, and shepherd. From my point of view, the miner serves as a warning and the shepherd points out his inability to see differently. The dragon is out of place. You could change the dragon to be more impactful or you could cut it and add another character. Perhaps the story would benefit from another teaching encounter before he reaches his wife?

Armature is the lesson, right? I think the lesson is that it is important to change your point of view and see the world through different lenses to truly appreciate life.
I do really love the story! Hope my feedback was helpful!