Looking for critique! :) (WIP)



  • Hi guys 🙂 I'm an animation and game student and currently I really want to experiment with illustrating childrens books and trying out if I like it. (and at the moment I really do)
    I know it is quite late to ask for feedback on this illustration but I'm coming to a point where I really feel that critique is necessary. (Also I'm really struggeling to get the text looking good next to the image). I would really appreciate any critique, feedback and suggestions!

    wip.jpg


  • SVS OG

    Hu @Juli! It's a fun piece! I think the basic composition is interesting and like the way you've got a sort of splayed perspective going. The values look good, and the color is happy like the scene.

    I'd look at two or three things: Mainly, the composition is a little crowded. The giraffe's neck is almost touching the right hand side of the page (possibly in what would be the gutter in a physical book), forming a distracting tangent, and his nose it a little too close to the type. The tail seems to be almost tickling the girl's head. But those things should be easy to fix.

    The other things are all drawing related. I don't know where the other two legs of the piano bench are, which made me then wonder about whether the giraffe can actually be where he is. But I think that is fixable if you work it out. The last thing is debatable: The giraffe's uplifted hoof and the girl's rubbery arm look improbable. But the arm may just be wacky and intentional enough that it works and adds to the spirit of the whole! I can't make up my mind.

    I also love the girl's smile and how she has managed to get her foot up high enough to play the electric organ with her big toe. Those things both add a lot of the energy of the piece. She really looks like a free spirit, and I think you're just a few corrections away from a really nice illustration!



  • I really like this too - I think Laura's given you really sound advice. The one thing I noticed apart from the arms was the finger on the left hand is in the wrong place, if it's meant to be the index finger? Otherwise, I like your loose drawing style.



  • Hey you two thank you so much for the critique!

    @LauraA oh yeah you're so right with the tangents. For some reason it's always super hard for me to see them. And I guess I just forgot the other two legs of the piano bench 😬 And yeah I'm also not sure about the leg of the giraffe. I was very inspired by Astrid Henns "Neinhorn" (I'm not sure if there is an english translation yet) but the book is super fun and I love the illustrations. She masters this wacky anatomy thing which gives a real charm to her illustrations in my opinion but I guess I still have to work on this.

    @Rachel-Horne Oops this is why it's always super important that other people look on illustrations. : D

    I'll keep you posted about how this one evolves! 🙂



  • @Juli Yes, you're right, we don't always see these things even though sometimes we've looked at something a lot - a fresh pair of eyes is always good! 🙂