The Moment Before After Video Critique

  • Before
    SIGROSS The Moment Before.jpg

    SIGROSS The Moment Before after crit.jpg

    Took on-board what @Lee-White said about my penguin scene. I appreciate and agreed with the feedback.

    Made my protagonist penguin a bit more flamboyant. He's of the Macaroni ilk. Spearheading the deep ocean dive I can feel his leadership qualities (His co-stars are based on Adelie penguins). They both hang out in Antarctic waters.

    I think I got carried away with drawing penguins that it was hard to lose characters. I wanted them to all get equal billing. But that made me lose sight of the story of building tension and focus for the Moment Before brief.

    Happy to hear any further comments. Have others made changes to their work after listening to the feedback?

  • @sigross I like the changes, really give the piece focus.

  • That definitely gives the piece more focus, I finished a live course with lee a month or so ago and his crits were invaluable, I saw huge improvement by the end of that course, hes an excellent teacher.

  • SVS OG

    I'm going to rework mine, too. The video was awesome and such a valuable tool for all of us. I think you followed his advice well and added a great touch to show this one guy is different than the rest and makes him stand out the way you want him to. The only thing I would suggest differently is to not have him in the act if the jump just yet. I think it works as you've got it now but having him just on the edge leaning and looking down or maybe right in the middle of leaving where one foot is still touching (as he mentioned on someone else's image) would help sell the "moment before" tension and payoff especially with the changes you already made. Good job on adjusting and I can't wait to see how everyone else's improve, too!

  • @Jon-Anderson Yes this was something I was playing with last night with regards to Macaroni's position. But it got to 7 am and I thought I best get some sleep! I've made it with Mac just touching moment, as there are a few other little dudes peering over the edge. So I want him to be just one step ahead of everyone else. Here's the update. Thanks for the comments and suggestion.

    The Moment Before After Crit v2.jpg

  • SVS OG

    @sigross That's it! And I love his closed eyes like he's about to enjoy it while his neighbor has this wide eyed second-guess expression. And lack of sleep is one of my faults so I understand. I work so much better when I'm rested but I have a hard time making myself wind down so I can do better work on the flip side. Anyways, good work on Macaroni!

  • SVS Team SVS Instructor Pro SVS OG

    There it is! Very nice!

  • @Jon-Anderson @Lee-White Cheers! Drawing Mac, was feeding me energy to keep me awake :smiling_face_with_open_mouth:

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