WIP- Critiques please

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@martha-sue thanks! That’s also my second bet. Well, that was the first one I made and worked on it longer than other because I really liked it but then I experimented more and I found a new combination that I loved even more. How fast my mind change. Lol

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

Here’s a newer-newer version of the sketch.

[holleywilliamson]

@nyrrylcadiz looks great! That mouse is grossing me out!

[Eli]

@nyrrylcadiz, this is lovely. So sad. Your pieces have a lot of emotional impact!
Well done. I hear what @holleywilliamson is saying about the mouse and I think it's a bit large for a mouse. So is it a rat? I am wondering if it's a little over the top. I think the dishes and dying plant are probably sufficient to get the point across. Just wondering if the rodent is overkill? Also, I am NOT a master of composition by any stretch of the imagination, but I wonder if the dying plant would balance things out if it were on the windowsill instead. Everything is kind of concentrated on the countertop behind them.

[Eli]

Also color scheme A is my favorite--maybe with elements of D, like less intense hair color on both of them. Just my thoughts--beautiful work.

[Branden Brushett]

Looks great! Love it. Just a suggestion, because I can imagine my son in this, he would not be hungry. Wouldn't even want to eat. So his arms would probably be at his side or elbow on the table holding his head up while staring at the chair. Might be more impactful.

Keep at it! It's almost there.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@holleywilliamson @Eli @Branden-Brushett Thank you! I’m very happy you like it. I do see what you mean about the rat though. It is overkill. Hehe i’ll remove it. Also, I’ll try your suggestion with the potted plant, @Eli. I don’t want to put it directly on the window sill since it’s also looking crowded but perhaps hanging beside the window, near the fridge? @Branden-Brushett Thank you so much for the suggestion but I really like her current pose. I’ll give it a try though and see if I like it. Again, thank you so much everybody! I’ll post some updates soon.

[Bob Crum]

I super love your forms and lines. It feels very professional and gives the impression that you put real thought into every element here. It makes me want to look around more and notice things like the piled up dishes, the mouse in the cupboard, and the slightly messed up tablecloth.

I think the mourning could be exaggerated just a touch more. At first blush (without reading anything) I was thinking that the little girl was listening to a ghost in the empty chair or that she had just noticed the ghost. I don't think that is the story you are trying to narrate. My art is nowhere near your style, but I did a quick take on what more sadness would look like in the face of the little girl and the man.

The poses are just perfect in my estimation and I wouldn't change a thing. I just added a little bit more droop to the outside of the eyes and i even moved the brows down on the man and tilted them a touch.

You are really on to something here. Very nice work.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

Hi, everyone! I’ve just been working on the illustration. Here’s what i’ve done so far. I’m ready to call it finished but what do you think? Thank you for all of your inputs and critiques. They’re very helpful.

[burvantill]

@nyrrylcadiz well done. I love that light.

[Kristin Wauson]

@nyrrylcadiz I’m glad you chose this color scheme. This one really hit me hard emotionally because when someone is gone there is always this strange feeling when a new day begins and you can’t believe the sun can just rise like nothing has changed. You expect a brand new day/sunrise to feel hopeful so when it doesn’t, it makes you pause. Nice work and I enjoyed seeing the progression.

[carriecopadraws]

@nyrrylcadiz I love the progress of this piece, it's quietly sad. The chair decoration a nice touch - its playfulness contrasts with the somber scene.

I think there is an opportunity to tell a little more story by putting a photo or two on the fridge, like a family snapshot. I'd move the father over to the left a little so he isn't exactly centered in front of the fridge.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@kristin-wauson hi! I can’t say I totally know what you feel but I’ve also dealt with loss. It’s never easy. Most of the time it seems like the world has moved on without you while you’re just left behind to grieve alone. I’m really happy this piece made you feel such. It’s really heart-warming to know that your work can impact others on a deeper level. Thank you. I wish you all the best as well.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@carriecopa good point on the photo on the fridge. I’ll definitely add that. Thank you!