22 Oct 2015, 22:15
I'm planning on putting together a portfolio and am thinking about adding this recently finished piece. Looking for critiques and suggestions to push this a little further.
Dream and Imagination Room Portfolio Piece
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I'm planning on putting together a portfolio and am thinking about adding this recently finished piece. Looking for critiques and suggestions to push this a little further.
shinjifujioka.com
https://www.facebook.com/shinjifujiokaart
IG: @shinjifujiokastudio -
This piece is magical! I love the child-like inquisitive nature you've captured there. I can't say enough how much I love this. It reminds me of being a child and just daydreaming about the future and having hopes and dreams and trying to work out the world around me.
Thanks for sharing this, it brought up some good feelings.
Ace
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Oh my goodness this is so beautiful, so wonderfully rendered... the lighting is just right, and the feeling magical. Beautifully conceived piece. I like the choice of the white rug echoing the clouds, and the night blue carpet echoing the sky in opposite corners...really works well.
The only thing that jumps out at me when I look in detail, is that the shadow/difference in value between the two walls of the room suddenly stops halfway up, as if you went back in to work over the corner again but didn't keep what you did on the bottom half. That looks a little odd to me. The other thing (and this is a tiny close-up detail) is that the rocking horse could have a second rein on the furthest side of his nose.. but I mean really that is tiny detail nit-picking! Love it
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Beautiful work!!
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Really awesome work--not a surprise coming from you--I like it!
If you were going to twist my arm for a crit I might say that the piece tends toward the "cold" and as a children's piece you may want it warmer. Or you may not--like I said, it is really great.
If you were going warmer you could bring in more orange light. Alternatively (or perhaps along with the orange) you could bring in more whimsical pink/magenta tones into the clouds.
EDIT: I've pinned the first illustration of Helmet & Hound you did under my "Best Children's Illustrations" board (just wanted to let you know in case you wanted to put that in your resume lol). Keep us posted if you do a H&H book. Those images look amazing.
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@shinjifujioka O.k this is really excellent! but you are asking for crit. - I just have few little things - the front edge of the chair and the chair-back are not parallel - if it is the chair-back that is correct then the arm on our right is too long and also the one on our right dips down at a different angle than the one on the left - also the tangent between the chair and the side-table keeps calling to me - really the whole left side of the composition keeps calling to me - there is so much going on there - there is no real payoff until I go back to looking at the child - ...it just seems like the side-table is important somehow - if I hold my hand over the chair and the side-table the feeling of the piece is much warmer and seems focused on the child and the feeling of wonder becomes the focus - ..it seems like if the left hand side is important you could add some important element there or you could crop a lot of it out - ..... know that I love your work and I know I cannot paint like this! - just trying to give you my impressions - Cheers!
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@Ace-Connell Thank you, I'm glad it reminds you of being a child. That is one of the things I hoped to accomplish with this piece.
@Dulcie Thanks for the critique! You're totally right. I missed that portion on the wall. I always seem to have my nose to close to the painting and miss pretty obvious stuff, lol.
@Thrace-Shirley-Mears Thanks!
@mattramsey Thank you for the critique
Yeah, I kind of purposely chose a blue tone knowing that it would feel somewhat cold, for two reasons: I wanted the warm light to be centered around the star and the child, and blue light tends to have more of a nighttime feel to it. I don't have the knowledge right now to pull off a warm light and make it feel like nighttime. I guess that'll be something that I need to add to my knowledge bank. And glad you like the H&H illustrations! Those images come from a more personal place so I'm always glad when it resonates with others. I haven't really decided whether to make turn it into a book, but who knows?@Kevin-Longueil I think I read most of your critiques
You have a good eye for ways to improve an image. I totally missed that tangent! And you're right about the chair. Depicting things in more unusual perspectives is a weakness of mine that I need to improve. I kind of get lazy and neglect to "draw through" as Will and Jake often mention. Thank you for your feedback!shinjifujioka.com
https://www.facebook.com/shinjifujiokaart
IG: @shinjifujiokastudio -
@mattramsey Thank you for the critique
Yeah, I kind of purposely chose a blue tone knowing that it would feel somewhat cold, for two reasons: I wanted the warm light to be centered around the star and the child, and blue light tends to have more of a nighttime feel to it. I don't have the knowledge right now to pull off a warm light and make it feel like nighttime. I guess that'll be something that I need to add to my knowledge bank. And glad you like the H&H illustrations! Those images come from a more personal place so I'm always glad when it resonates with others. I haven't really decided whether to make turn it into a book, but who knows?I think you can keep the night feel and warm it--again, only if you want to. Here is a quick idea (just a couple multiply layers for the shadow area and an overlay layer for the light):
It might be a bit too dark.
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Ok, I see what you mean. I'll have to play around with it and see what I can come up with.
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@shinjifujioka Truly lovely work. I would perhaps add a few more stars/things emerging from the clouds, but I love shiny stuff so maybe not such a good idea. But honestly I just wanted to add my praise for the piece.
~llap Nightseye -
Really beautiful piece and concept! I agree with what Kevin said about the left side of the piece. Maybe there's just to much space there that are not needed, and since there's some objects that are lighter, it grabs the attention of the viewer a little bit more than desired. Thinking this way, I would like to suggest a little crop, because for me it would put the kid trying to reach the star closely to one gold point in the image. The way it is now, it's almost at the center and I think maybe you could benefit from the rule of thirds to make it more interesting by cropping the left side a little bit.
Also, the warmer touch Matt applied to it makes a huge difference in the feeling overall.
Nice job, when I grow up I definitely want to learn to paint like you!
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@Nightseye Thanks! I like shiny stuff too, haha, so I actually did have a few more actual star shaped stars amongst the clouds before deciding to go with just one. But perhaps I should revisit that idea. I may have just put those other stars in the wrong place
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@joyce_carmo said:
Really beautiful piece and concept! I agree with what Kevin said about the left side of the piece. Maybe there's just to much space there that are not needed, and since there's some objects that are lighter, it grabs the attention of the viewer a little bit more than desired. Thinking this way, I would like to suggest a little crop, because for me it would put the kid trying to reach the star closely to one gold point in the image. The way it is now, it's almost at the center and I think maybe you could benefit from the rule of thirds to make it more interesting by cropping the left side a little bit.
Darkening the edges might serve as a type of crop too--it lessens the amount of information and causes the eye to stay in the lighted areas. If this was in a book I think it would be a 2-page spread and if that is what the idea was I don't think it could be cropped.
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@joyce_carmo Yeah, I think I'll crop it before including it in my portfolio. The piece was originally not as wide, but the client wanted it to be wider in case they wanted to fade out the left or right to include text there. And as far as learning to paint like me, from what I've seen, you've already got your own wonderful art style
Thanks for the critique! -
@mattramsey yeah, you've got a nice point! I just didn't thought about the context in which the picture would be presented, just the picture itself.
@shinjifujioka thank you too.
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very creative! I really like this image.
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I LOVE THIS piece, very whimsical. Only wishing the little boy was larger so you could really soak in his expression for me. Everything else is really great. Things look realistic yet perfect for children. Well done and hope to see more.
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This look awesome. You pulled off what I failed to with my 3rd Thursday piece in the lighting. I'm using this as reference while I rework mine.
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First, this piece is simply stunning. I really LOVE it. I also love your H&H work, especially this piece :
If I really want to find something to critique, I would have to go with @johntutulliart and @Kevin-Longueil. We can see that the boy is the focal point of your painting, but I feel like he is getting lost in the details of the room. I think either cropping the image, or darkening the edges as @matrasmey suggested could help us focus on the boy a lot more.
That being said, I just love everything else about it.
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You have a great style and rendering abilities. Very nice work. I would agree with some of the other comments that your piece needs some warmth in it. I really appreciate all the interesting items you included in the bedroom scene. Thanks for sharing your work!