Personal Project Feedback

Pamela Fraley

I’m just wondering how this is reading to you all?
I dont mind telling what’s happening in this, but I’m wondering if it’s coming a cross without any explanation. Trying to put into practice what I’m learning in the SVS character courses. *FYI That’s a curl in front of her face. Its not her nose. I just realized my little scribble looked a bit nose-like.

This post is deleted!

Mia Clarke

To me it looks like she's drawing on the window pane, or maybe writing something? A letter H?

Pamela Fraley

@Stephanie-H @Mia-Clarke thanks for responding! She is actually drawing on the window. You know how kids breathe on the glass and then make pictures in it? I was hoping to convey that she looked a little bit bored. I might be able to get it in her facial expression, but I tend to lean too much on that, so I’m trying to capture it with gesture too. Maybe she should be more slouchy?

burvantill

It looks to me like something we might have seen in our homes during the pandemic. Children inside who, one at least, wishes to be somewhere else. That's my guess. I love your sketch BTW. Very figurative.
=)x
PS. I did not look at any reply's so as not to see any spoil alerts.

Pamela Fraley

@burvantill yes! Thank you. There’s a definite boredom/longing to be somewhere else.

Mia Clarke

@Pamela-Fraley My windows are full of little finger prints, so it felt very relatable to me. I don’t think you need to change the pose, it looks like you’ve got a good silhouette on her. I’d add some tone to it, and see how it reads in value first…

I would consider removing the brother from the scene, too, to up the feeling of being alone and bored. But I might be wrong on that one, so follow your instincts!

@Pamela-Fraley I totally see it now and think it works.

Since you can see the side of her face, you could play with adding the mouth expression if you decide you want to later.

Lovely sketch!

Pamela Fraley

@Stephanie-H Yeah, I definitely want to hone in on her face. And the hand under her chin. I can push it with expression, but I want the body language to be on as well.