A redraw from last year
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Hi all,
In my first mentor sessions in January when we went through some of my work I had the feedback on this piece. The comments were ‘it looks a bit plastic’ (fair point, yes it does) and that it looked like I had just used a gradient in the background (extremely fair point, yes I had
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I decided to have a go at improving it and adding some background, details, texture, lighting and trying to make it look underwater.
It’s better than the original but I’m not sure if it’s actually telling a valid story anymore as it was based on people in the UK doing online ‘Click-and-Collect’ shopping during lockdown (dolphins click to each other).
I’ve put a fair amount of time and effort into the revisited version, although I’m not sure I should have. Would anyone understand the click-click-click idea nowadays? It may have just been a UK thing anyway. I am happy to see it as lighting and underwater environment drawing practice that should be gracefully retired if it doesn’t tell a story. I’m also a bit concerned it may be a little gruesome, although dolphins do eat fish!
Thank you,
Liz
Website: lizardillo.co.uk
IG: instagram.com/lizardillo -
@lizardillo never heard of click and collect but I get the idea, it is definitely superior to your last, well done!
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I like your revisited drawing. I like the textures you’ve added, though I would say that it feels a bit busier than the first and I liked how clean the first was while still telling the story.
Click click click, is that the canned meat? I’m in Canada and we had click canned meat but I’m not sure if that’s what you’re trying to capture,
I do understand the click and collect as we have that here too.
@Asyas_illos click and collect is what we call our online grocery shopping. The collect aspect is that there’s special parking spots and someone will bring the groceries out and load your trunk. Here, when you pull into the spot, there’s a number to text with your stall, so they know which car to load it into.
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@Asyas_illos thank you. Yes click and collect is when you order your shopping online and drive to the store and it just goes into your car. (I’ve never done it but it does sound very handy!).
@AngelinaKizz thank you. The click-click-click was meant to be a play on words as that’s the sound dolphins make, but as suspected I think it’s a bit lost in translation. Very good point about it being too busy. I have a bit of a problem with feeling like I need to keep adding and adding. Perhaps I could do a version and take some of these new elements off but keep the new textures etc on the original elements. I think in my mind I was making it as an example of a few ideas I could pitch to a jigsaw company or someone like that. I need to learn the technique of less is more, not keep adding more and more and more…
I keep adding so many focal points you need eyes like a spider to look at them all.
Thank you both for the replies, they have really helped
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@AngelinaKizz oh I figured that,we just don’t have a name for it ‘round here lol
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@lizardillo Wow so much more alive and full of atmosphere now, Nice!
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This looks great! Such an improvement. Very atmospheric and I love your lighting. Maybe if you knocked back the middle dolphin so that it looked like he/she was emerging from further away it would help the busy-ness. I did get the Click Click Click idea but then I'm from the UK
(and in fact my folks still use it). Great work! -
Great image and an interesting design concept! One thing that caught my eye, and which I think could have made a big difference, is the variety of color contrast. The patterns are quite similar. If you promote the idea of one color palette, I think it would give the piece an added dynamic.
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I really love that, wow. It looks just so nice. I love the textures and also that you did put an extra background and foreground. You made a good job.
About the feedback of the tooo busy. I don't know, when you look at underwater pictures it's always kind of busy, i mean depending on the inviroment. But as there is so much life in the ocean i did't have the feeling of it beeing to busy.
Mybe its just me. Maybe you can make the foreground darker so that it would take a bit of the busyness? Also maybe just work with shapes in the background and only one color?But is still like it as it is.
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Thank you @Larue @ruth @Henry-Mosley @von_Nimmermehr
I have tried to take your points on board and darken the foreground, desaturate the background and attempt to add a little colour to the fish.
I have changed the linework to be coloured and not all blue and tried to make the jellyfish and bubbles more subtle. I’m starting to destroy the procreate file a little so it’s getting a little shabby in places.
I’m not entirely sure I’ve made a massive difference but as I was listening to a rerun of an old 3PP podcast today they made some good points about adding extra stories and focal points that are not necessary. I think I’m going to go and do Will’s ‘draw 50 things’ course as I do love drawing busy and intricate scenes but I need to learn how to structure them properly.
Thank you all so much for the feedback, it’s been so helpful.
Website: lizardillo.co.uk
IG: instagram.com/lizardillo -
@lizardillo it really makes a diffenrece!
So i would say, be gentle to yourselfe, because you made a good job here!
It always can be better, but i love it. It really shows how much progress you made! -
@lizardillo Great revision and how you stuck with it to make it look amazing. As far as the click-click-click thing. I don't get it as an American. If you are worried perhaps change it to 'Market'? Whateves! It's beautiful! Amazing work!
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@lizardillo WOOW, I admire your tenacity so much! This version looks FANTASTIC!
I think it might be because the dolphin's faces are lit top-down; (there's higher contrast there),
So that's where my eye gets drawn first. And that's what brings hierarchy into the scene. It feels like there's a nice circular flow pathway now - I look at three dolphin faces -> follow the curved tail -> then the surrounding parcels/ shop sign -> then the foreground/ background.Getting enough realism for the water to look believable AND preserving the line-work is a tricky balance. You did such a lovely job of it here!
It makes me wanna visit and peek at what knick-knacks other dolphins have ordered : )
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@lizardillo This is fantastic. Massive improvement in rendering and storytelling since the January version!! Can't wait to see what you do next.
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@lizardillo such a big improvement! The lighting and textures look so good
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@lizardillo Hello!
I think your touch ups are a great improvement. I really like all the additional environment elements around in the foreground and background and the lighting. It feels like it's a real place now, a lived and worked in space! Texture is a bonus. I don't find it gruesome. I do like the reality that the crabs are bit afraid that they might be next. There's a nice tension but the main focus isn't on them, so I think it's okay.
Thanks for sharing,
Heather
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@lizardillo This is amazing!! I feel like it went form good to Pro-level!
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@lizardillo I think the atmosphere in this piece just keeps getting better! And though I'm not British, I figured out the meaning pretty quickly. It's kinda funny how I don't know whether the crabs are for sale or just wandering away--or maybe both. And who's that under the rock? Maybe he doesn't want to wind up in the bin?
Where are you doing a mentorship?
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@Pamela-Fraley Ditto, this looks fantastic!
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Hiya all.
Apologies about the late reply @von_Nimmermehr @KatrinaF @amandalo @Valerie-Light @Griffin @Heather-Boyd @Pamela-Fraley @LauraA @Jeremiahbrown, it's a long 4-day bank holiday weekend over here in the UK and the weather has been great (
for once!) so I have not really been online to look on the forum. It was truly amazing logging on to see comments like this.Thank you everyone for such kind and constructive feedback. It's truly appreciated, especially when I really wasn't confident that I should have committed any more time to this piece to start with. Thank you for the help and encouragement. I'm glad I persevered now and I think I will add it to my portfolio website. I keep looking and thinking 'I could change this, and that... and that... and that...' I know there is more I could do but I think it's time to just stop! My next learning project is FOCAL POINTS!!
@LauraA said in A redraw from last year:
Where are you doing a mentorship?
Laura, I'm doing a 3-month mentorship with Giuseppe Castellano. Am I right in thinking you did one with him a while ago? How did you find it if you did? I'm finding it really good but I don't feel I have made the most of it somehow. Giuseppe has been great but I seem to have been a lot slower creating work than I expected. With my free time available and some mental health issues I ground to a halt for a couple of weeks unfortunately. I wish I had took out the 6-month one now! I have my last session on April 28th so I would love to have 10 solid portfolio pieces ready to pitch to agents/art directors. I've not had the confidence to send anything out to anyone yet
I hope you all have had a great weekend.
Thanks again,
Liz (a happy SVS/Easter bunny!
)Website: lizardillo.co.uk
IG: instagram.com/lizardillo
