Something is wrong, but idk what.

[phoenix yip]

Hey SVS people, I made this really rough drawing that just feels a little off to me, and I can’t see or pick out what it is. Anyone have any suggestions?

[Tamisha]

I really like your illustration idea. At first glance I see a large amount of space with nothing happening in the grassy area. The layout is great. Perhaps adding some depth variation to create foreground, midground and background. The larger stones at the bottom should be much darker then the rest of the image. Your character should hold his/her arms out just slightly away from the body to create more division and a strong silhouette. Looking foreword to seeing your WIP!

[StudioLooong]

I think that what you have going on with the path is flattening out the composition in an unnatural way. There is great perspective with the rocks getting smaller but that dirt path isnt following the same logic. It's almost as wide up by the person as it is down by the large rock. The rough edges of the grass should scale too, becoming less jagged as it reseeds into the distance.

Quick fix for the path width could be to take out some of the grass in the bottom left.

[NessIllustration]

@phoenix-yip With the character backlit (with a sunset no less) this is a pretty dramatic lighting scenario which I think you've rendered a bit too mildly. This lighting would produce more this sort of effect:

[Heather Boyd]

@phoenix-yip From first look I might say there is a lot of focus weight and colour at the top. Also maybe the character is larger than he should be in comparison to the size of the sun but I am not sure.

[phoenix yip]

@StudioLooong thank you so much!

[phoenix yip]

@NessIllustration
Is this better? I took your advice and made the lighting more dramatic

[Michael Angelo Go]

Okay so my feedback might be biased, but I think the problem here is the horizon line. I know what you were trying to go for, creating a great sense of depth with the foreground taking most of the space of this vertical drawing, but it's a little overkill. I'm basing my feedback on this video, it might help you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upxBGNcryRs&t=699s&ab_channel=BaMAnimation

Other than that I don't have much feedback, the others here have given really great feedback.

[NessIllustration]

@phoenix-yip I think that's a great improvement!!

[phoenix yip]

@Michael-Angelo-Go thanks! Yeah that makes sense, I just wanted to make sure the horizon line hit on the third rather than in the middle

[Melissa_Bailey]

Your new color study looks A LOT better! Overall, I really like this sketch. There still seems to be something static to me about the composition, though. Is it the rather flat, straight lines of both the horizon and the path? It raises a lot of questions for me ... why are the rocks so large in the foreground then seem to disappear as the path goes toward the horizon? Does that represent the path getting easier / less obstacles for the character? What is the story behind this composition? Why does the character have both swords drawn? Are they in peril? If so, why do they have a more relaxed posture instead of being poised to fight/defend themselves? Perhaps, if text is meant to be shown alongside the illustration, all that will be answered. But just viewing the illustration by itself, I want to know what the story is. Good job for piquing my curiosity!

[Kayla Groening]

@Michael-Angelo-Go I actually love the original horizon line in terms of storytelling.

To me, having the horizon line higher on the page and having the character facing the horizon makes it seem like the character is leaving behind a lot, taking a risk, or heading into the unknown (at least that's how I read it).