Comic page WIP, critique always appreciated

chrisaakins

Here is a very rough idea of a one page story for my self inflicted challenge.
story line.JPG thumbnails for comic strip.JPG
the basic premise is that the guy is a telekinetic person but he has not shown that to his friend. Since they are escaping in an underground tunnel they must escape through a bank vault type door.
Questions:
How do you draw a door exploding inward?
Does the story arc capture your interest?
Are the thumbnails varied enough to provide visual interest?
Does the spacing of the panels allow the sorry to be read correctly?
Any other general feedback...

Also would you do each panel as a different pic and then put them together? Or would you draw it as one pic? I am not sure what the actual process on these things would be. I am making this up as I go.

ArtofAleksey

ohhh this is a clever way to break down the panels. I did the more traditional comic book script.

RJWoodworth

@ArtofAleksey Agreed, very cool way of laying out the dialog along with the action.

RJWoodworth

Nice thumbnail! I love how concise the page is, very well communicated. I like how panel 4 over laps 1 and 5, but maybe try having it only over lap panel 1 and not 5. Maybe even try panel 4 not even in a panel, but as the background to the whole page, with all other panels on top of it. From your thumbnails I think the story has a good pace. Panel 3 has this awesome 'Wait for it...' kind of feel before the focal point of the page.

chrisaakins

@RJWoodworth thanks for the advice. I like the idea of panel 4 being the whole page.

chrisaakins

Here is the concept design for the guy:
charcter design Poltergeist smaller.JPG
I did this in my new messy style. I didn't put the layers of texture I would in a finished piece but I think I like it. What do you think? (My wife said the legs and feet were too big. Oh well. Maybe he's just a size 14er.)

carlianne

@chrisaakins

I think this is both interesting and has great variety in paneling! The images compliment the text to enhance the story very well.

For panel 1: We might want to see both characters. I didn't realize there were 2 people until panel 3, so it was a little bit disorienting (unless this is just a page out of a larger comic)

I have no idea how to show a door imploding LOL but you could always show it from the other POV if you feel like it's not working?

I personally treat the art for comics as full pages and if possible as spreads. That way I can make sure it is working compositionally as a whole, and not just each individual panel.