March contest bicycle/tricycle jump wip and critiques appreciated as always

Coley

Rough thumbs for ideas. My kids are obsessed with biking so one of them gave me the idea of a mid-air bike jump with a bike falling apart. I wanted to keep it childlike so I have at least for now gone with a tricycle. I also just had him mid air at first but added the ramp jump with kids below for a bit more story. The other two are less developed especially composition wise. I had the idea he had a diy tricycle kit and it fell apart. Once just sitting there and once after landing from a jump.

Wondering which reads better . And do you think it works with a tricycle versus bicycle? Any other ideas on story or composition?

P.s. I was gonna do a mouse but thought I should get another kid in my portfolio

braden H

@Coley That first thumb is perfect. Awesome sense of movement! I wanna see a kid on the ground holding a score card with a '10' on it

burvantill

I do like the first one too, but I want to know WHY the bike is disintegrating in mid air. If it’s a DIY, how will you convey that?

Coley

@Braden-Hallett that’s a great idea thanks

Coley

@burvantill I thought the same. Wondering if the viewer will wonder why the bike is falling apart mid-air. But it doesn’t have to be a diy like in the other two thumbs either. I was wondering if maybe having some rusty bits on it might work? Then the kid is just using a rusty old hand me down that falls apart mid air. Does that work do you think? Obvious rust, dents etc ?

My son Evan is exactly this kid lol. He used hand me downs and broke them all doing jumps. He is so hard on bikes! The bike shop loves us lol. Evan is also the one who gave me the idea for the bike coming apart mid air real life experience maybe!

braden H

@Coley said in March contest bicycle/tricycle jump wip and critiques appreciated as always:

Wondering if the viewer will wonder why the bike is falling apart mid-air.

Have a sneaky lookin' racer in the foreground with a wrench and vital-looking bolt hidden behind his back with a massive grin on his face?

Coley

@Braden-Hallett leave it to you to have a sneaky rotten kid in there lol ! Great idea and I will play around with that idea, thanks so much!

Coley

Very rough sketching lol. Got a sneaky rotten kid in there (he/she will have a screwdriver or wrench and a bolt or something) , a surprised one, a terrified can’t look one, and an exhilarated judge kid.

I like the story a lot better now, thanks @Braden-Hallett ! Besides your own work, they’re making me think of Michael Martchenko’s rotten sneaky kids lol. I love his sneaky kids!

I’m working my way through creative composition class right now, hoping that might help me figure out how to place those three kids out there. Right now they’re a bit evenly spaced. Or would there be something helpful along those lines in the how to draw fifty things class I wonder? I might binge watch it to see if anything helpful on grouping some objects ie kids in this case,that are not the main focal point.......will keep playing with that!

Melanie Ortins

Looks great! Love the composition, there's so much movement! And I think all of your new elements/characters tell the story perfectly

Coley

@Melanie-Ortins said in March contest bicycle/tricycle jump wip and critiques appreciated as always:

Looks great! Love the composition, there's so much movement! And I think all of your new elements/characters tell the story perfectly

Thanks Melanie. Help from others here sure helped!

nwaller

Just a quick idea: From the three timepoints you could choose for your story - before, present and after everything falls apart - the present one is often the boring one as nothing is happening in the viewers mind.

How about everything stays the same, the sneaky kid holding a bolt (maybe add a helmet and a bike to him so we can see he is a competitor) but the bike is about to fall apart. Maybe a wheel starts to get loose and the jumping kid is looking at it.

TessaW

Wow, cool scene! I'm glad you went with 1. I don't have a lot to add, but I'm loving the suggestions people are making.

Coley

@nwaller cool. That’s a good idea to play with too. I tried to spread the bike parts out to make the viewers eye travel but I will play with your idea. I have to redraw the bike anyhow. My 14 year old son says it has to be a bike not a tricycle anyhow lol!

burvantill

I like the sneaky kid. Good suggestion.

Coley

@TessaW thanks

Coley

I haven’t worked on this for a few weeks but got back at it. I am adding different ethnicities or trying to anyhow. Just realizing I need another girl so I will turn one of the boys into a girl.

Evil kid by the ramp needs a total re-do lol. He’s freaking scary looking! And the crouching kid , especially his hands. I’ve not been using much reference for the kids so I just took a photo of my son crouched over that should help me figure out things, especially hands and arms. The girl with overalls is obviously needing finishing, especially face and arms. They’re also needing some adjustment on size relation between them. I have them on separate layers so can resize them and move them around. Im happy with the kid on the bike and pretty happy with the kid with the sign....I think lol

The kids are a bit hard to decipher from the trees I think?

Also are the bike and the flying kid too high do you think?

Open to any input thank you

Neha Rawat

@Coley This is great! I actually loved the energy from your first thumbnail more. Seeing only the top of the heads of the kids on the ground is a clever way for it to be less distracting and showing the height.
Maybe you could try a similar crop to your latest version?
Great work!

Coley

@Neha-Rawat ah, yes, I see what you mean. I’ll play around with that and see! Thanks for your input!

Coley

A little more work. Toying with having the kids lower. And moved the flying kid and bike around too. Not really feeling like I’m hitting the mark but will keep playing.it might be a win some, lose some scenario this month
I might have the flying kid and bike too big now. They feel less high in the air.

chrisaakins

@Coley I think this latest composition looks really good. I think you could put a tool in the hand of the mean kid tp make her the even more obvious culprit. I think the action is good. I would make the victim's legs less spread out and more of 120 degree angle rather that a 180 degree one. It's creating a tangent with the handlebar.