September wip help. All feedback is welcome :)

peteolczyk

Help Do you have any feedback for this sketch.
Does the boy at the front read well?
Does it illustrate “shocked” (while keeping it kid friendly
Any suggestions, feedback and crit at all are welcome.
Thank you

Debra Garcia

It looks like the boy in the front is looking straight up at the sky instead of at what's in front of him, because I can see what looks like his nose on the top of his head.

peteolczyk

@Debra-Garcia yes I see that now. Thank you very much for pointing that out

Shara Mills

@peteolczyk oh my goodness!!! What an awesome concept! She’s freaking riding the moon like a motorcycle!

The teacher is definitely reading as shocked. She’s distracted away from what she was doing a moment before to the point that the things she’s carrying are in disarray. I’m also getting shocked from the curly haired boy on the left in more of a stunned silence/slack jawed kind of shock.

I’m getting wondering awe and interested/curious from glasses kid. And the foreground characters look a little passive or interested in their gesture because we can’t see their faces. Their poses and how they’re interactions with what their stuff and nearby objects will have to do more of the talking.

What if there was a character almost being blown over by her drive by? She might be coming in for a graceful landing, but that idea seems a fun option to play around with.

Where can I get my magic moon motorcycle that trails stars?!

theprairiefox

A better gesture from the kids down front might be to have them clapping their hands to their cheeks (thinking home alone). This way you have an idea of what they are thinking without seeing their faces. Right now they look like they are just waving.

Something is bothering me about the positioning of the teacher. I think it is because she is perfectly centered on the moon. Might want to move her a little one way or the other. Or I might be odd. I do like her expression though.

Good luck. Very fun concept.

peteolczyk

@Shara-Mills oh wow brilliant feedback Shara, thank you so much. I’ll make a few tweaks based on what you’ve said

peteolczyk

@theprairiefox thank you so much for pointing that out to me, I agree. Such a good idea to have their hands on their cheeks too. And the teacher, I wonder if I can just slide her behind the moon a bit.
Thank you for your help.

peteolczyk

Soooo I’ve gone back to the drawing board with this one to try and get a more simple illustration. After listening to svs podcasts and Will Terry talking about over illustrating, I’ve realised that I tend to draw too much on a piece. This is partly because I really love drawing but it doesn’t always help get the idea across.
Here’s my new wip anyway.
Any feedback is always welcome.

theprairiefox

@peteolczyk On this one, you might want to watch the composition. A couple of things I see right away.

The characters are lined-up right in the center. You might want to move the teacher to the right 1/3 and pull the kid to the left 1/3.
The kid is looking off the page which will lead the viewer off the page as well. You might want to change her eye line.

This one is fun! Much more emotion in your message.

peteolczyk

@theprairiefox thank you again for your help, I really like your suggestions. I’ll make some adjustments to improve it.

Chip Valecek

@peteolczyk I really liked your fist one, although this one is equally as great. I agree with @theprairiefox suggestions.

peteolczyk

@Chip-Valecek thanks Chip I really value your opinion. I think I need more experience with complex scenes to manage that first one.

braden H

@peteolczyk said in September wip help. All feedback is welcome :

I think I need more experience with complex scenes to manage that first one.

That may or may not be the case (your second piece is pretty awesome) but the shape of the moon in the first one is simply fantastic

peteolczyk

@Braden-Hallett cheers Braden, the way you’ve handled your drawing is incredible. I keep going back and looking at it.

TessaW

I just saw illustration_best on instagram featured this piece! Congratulations!!!

peteolczyk

@TessaW Hi Tessa, thank you but there’s no congratulations due there at all. That was a paid for advert. I put a percentage of what I earn from commissions to one side for advertising.
Let us know us know if you want more info on this, like costs or exposure, who to approach. I’ll also let you know if I get any commissions from it. I’ve had a few enquiries but nothing concrete yet.
I don’t know why but a part of me always feels a bit wrong when I try and promote my drawing as a business. Does anyone else feel like this?

korilynneillo

@peteolczyk I've always felt kinda weird doing paid adverts as well. I'm not sure if it sits well with me? But I'm finally getting around to setting aside some cash from sales to maybe put one out. Not sure which feels better, outright paying instagram for an ad or outright paying one of the feature accounts. I feel like work should speak for itself but it's very difficult to get seen, especially on instagram!

peteolczyk

@handdrawnviolist that’s interesting, I really don’t know why that should be. Especially for artists, it’s like we’re conditioned to think we should make artwork and business will find us. But almost every other business advertises in one way or another. It’s ok for a plumber or builder to drive around in a bold sign written van. Accountants have adverts on their shopfront.
My wife is a graphic designer, she has no issues at all with advertising, it’s how she makes a living.
Even though I know all this logically, I’m still not completely comfortable with it.

korilynneillo

@peteolczyk it's funny how often we as artists fall back on the "well would you ask a plumber to work on your house for "exposure"" when clients are asking for free work, but the comparison to advertising is so foreign!

I think you're right, and will definitely sit on that for a while! At least I know I've got the hard skills in composition, design (I did graphic design for a while before illustration), and storytelling to make a super great ad if I go that route. If I can't be comfortable with the act of advertising itself, at least I can maybe be comfortable knowing I'm putting out a fantastic piece of work!

peteolczyk

@handdrawnviolist you make some really good points and thanks for sharing your opinion and views on this slightly taboo subject (for artists at least). I think it needs to be discussed openly.
I’ll definitely let you all know if anything comes from it, and if I think it was actually worth it.
I suppose the other route is to have an agent. Then they are the ones doing all the uncomfortable promotional side for you, which is part of why they take a cut from your commission.