My superstition WIP

[TwiggyT]

Hi, all. I'm working on the superstition prompt, and I was hoping to get some feedback on my work thus far.

The superstition I'm using is this: When you see a cardinal after a loved one passes away, that cardinal is your loved one's spirit checking on you.

I drew this little girl who lost her grandpa. She's sad that he's gone...meanwhile his spirit (the cardinal) is right outside and she doesn't realize.

Is there anything I could do to make the composition stronger? Does the cardinal resemble the grandpa at all? I was trying to get them to look similar. Should the cat be on the floor, or is the cat too much? I thought it would be good to have the cat be like, "Hey, look!" while the little girl doesn't realize.

I wanted to note that the thing in the upper left that looks like a vent or AC unit is where I imagine the text would be in a children's book.

Thanks for any help you can give.

[MichaelaH]

@TwiggyT Hi I didn't see the cat, so I think doesn't matter to me so much. The bird, I would make the feathers on the sides like the grandpa's hair, not up but to the side. The nose and the beak are really similar. I think it is great idea.

[Chip Valecek]

@TwiggyT great idea. For the vent/ac where the text would be, you could always add another picture of the kid and grandpa together. Looking forward to seeing this one.

[TwiggyT]

@MichaelaH - Yes! Great idea!

@Chip-Valecek Oh, that's brilliant, I never thought of that. Thank you!

[braden H]

@TwiggyT I really like this superstition If the cardinal looks a bit like the grandpa (or if in the photo he's wearing the same colour as the cardinal is? Same colour eyes, maybe? Something to connect the picture and the bird) it'll be really impactful.

Composition-wise I'd shift the girl down a bit and to the left. The picture and the girl's eye are what I want to be drawn to, and it may be a bit better if the fall on that lower left intersection of thirds. Play with it

[TwiggyT]

@Braden-Hallett - I really like the idea of the cardinal and Grandpa's clothing being the same color -- thank you for that! That had never occurred to me!

I cleaned things up a bit, shifted the girl down and to the left some, as suggested, and added the extra photo. I think I might add more clutter to the floor later. Then it's on to touching up the line art.

[TwiggyT]

Here's the cleaned-up line art. What do you all think? Lineart is difficult for me.

[Chip Valecek]

@TwiggyT Looks good. I am not great at line art but it depends on how you are going to paint it. I think we are seeing to much of her pupil. It is making it look like her eye is on the side of her face. I think if you move it so you only see a 1/4 of the pupil it might read better.

[TwiggyT]

I like my color scheme, but I still feel like things have gotten muddy or lost. What do you all think?

I found a poem that goes with it perfectly. I went ahead and inserted a verse, but if the author doesn't approve I may have to take it out.

[Su]

Hi Tracy,

I like your image! The colors seem very fitting for the reflective nature of the image. Subdued and tranquil is good. Nice job!

Su