Characters for my comic
laura last edited by
@reddprime I'm wondering why the shark has their tail fin but the other fish character's tail fins have evolved into legs? In any case, looking good
@laura this is a good point! I had not even given that any thought... I will have a look at what the shark looks like without a tail thanks for pointing that out.
Happy Monday everyone!
I have almost completed the third page of FishTails. From page 3 one they will all be on my site: https://reddprime.com/comics/
I do need some suggestions on how to make some female characters.
Finished up page 3 about a week ago, this one was a challenge. I was never happy with the illusion of movement that I needed for the claw slash.
Please let me know what you think. I am about to start the next page.
BenBernardSmith last edited by BenBernardSmith
Hi there! I like what you're doing, the characters have really nice designs.
With your third page, I'm not sure if I completely understand what's happening. The first panel looks like he's scared by something coming towards him, but the words seem to state he's already been hit once. Could it work to have a small panel first showing something coming towards him, maybe in silhouette above him or something, then what was the first panel as his reaction to seeing this thing above him, then the slash. I think one hit works just as well if not better.
Also, I'm assuming he's evolved by going through the portal? As I was reading about your character design at the top of the post, I was wondering if that might be how he becomes more anthropomorphic.
EDIT: I just re-read it, and realised the pain he's experiencing first is his evolving, right?
avfarrar last edited by avfarrar
Maybe it would help with the transition from the second to third page if you show the swirl from the portal in the background behind the face of the main character? It wouldn't necessarily need to be in any of the others--but still maybe include it as small and disappearing behind the fish character in the second panel (for story flow)? Hope that makes sense.
Keep up the good work! You're doing great.
jaepereira last edited by
@reddprime probably late in the process but I don’t think your main character should be called Finn if the villain is named Kingfin (although I appreciate the pun).
Susan Marks last edited by
@reddprime Another reader late to the party...
I'm really liking where this is going. Once you started posting your characters and panes in color, they really took off. I think your scenes really take off in page 2 and 3. Could you show more of the story with less narrative boxes on the first page. Tricky-but I think it would draw me in more quickly.
I'm not sure what the "blue light" is-but maybe I don't need to know yet, maybe that's part of the hook to draw us in.
The large image on the 2nd page looks a little out of color-could the goldfish (Finn?) have more warmth and even a little orange/gold while he's in shadow, to tie the images together?
And I don't think the 3rd page needs the dialog at all-I think your images tell the story.
Keep posting! I want to see what happens.
@avfarrar This makes total sense! Thanks for the input, it makes more sense than the green light I was using
@BenBernardSmith Hey! Thanks for the feedback. So the plan is to create some confusion in this panel, why does he look different in from here on in that he did in the previous pages? I want the audience to experience the confusing Finn was experiencing as this unfolded, but it gets explained soon.
BenBernardSmith last edited by
@reddprime I can see you want us to experience the confusion he's feeling, but I would say that I initially thought that the first pain he was feeling was caused by him being hit, so if you want readers to know more clearly the two pains are different, you might want to show that somehow, but still keep some of the confusion. Clarity is important when a story begins or the audience can be turned away.
But up to you! Just some thoughts. Keep up the good work! I look forward to seeing more!