Critic for Recent Image

[donpavlik]

I recently listened to the 3 Point Perspective on critics and decided to come so I could gain some valuable critics for a piece I recently created.

I do like it as I feel it is one of the few pieces I have created that tell a story. With that said I am looking for two areas to improve:

1. What can I do to improve the storytelling, something I can apply to future images as well.
2. What is one thing I can do to improve the quality of the art? (Right now I feel I need to go through the inking class on SVS learn again and so I can improve line weight priority.)

I want to keep growing my work, not looking for flattery but good feedback that will help me level up as I am doing this on my own, and through watching the training on SVS Learn.

[rcartwright]

very cute, off hand the first thing I would look at is the lack of shadows both form and cast, you don't need shadows for all styles but you introduced reflections in the water so you are already considering your light. The back are is a bit dark in value and may not really even be needed. I' not sure I would have the open mouth with seed teeth people will recognize the watermelon thing with out it and the seeds give teeth effect (this is a personal thing I try not to render out teeth in cartoonish work)

Cheers

[donpavlik]

Thank you for your critic. I know I applied some, not a lot of shadows when I started the coloring but it does look like I forgot about them when I did the rest of the coloring.

I agree the background may not be needed to tell the story and it is dark. I plan to update the color for the back, and I will stay away from the heavy grays and use some color instead. I think the background helps complete the picture, so I do not want to remove it, but it does need some transformation help.

I may have to work on the teeth, have to think about that one and see about keeping or getting rid of them.

[KathrynAdebayo]

I think the seed teeth are a great touch Very creative image that put a smile on my face.

[donpavlik]

Thank you