I need to finish this piece.

[TessaW]

Hi everyone! I used to be very active in the forums and was trying to make a portfolio. My original goal was to have 8-10 pieces in my portfolio by March 2018. Well, I didn't quite make it. Between parenting and moving into a fixer-upper, my art game got put off track for a while. I'm trying to get back into it again, but it's been hard to gain momentum. I started this piece back in February and just want to get it done, so I'm posting it here to get a sense of accountability and hopefully get me into the groove again.

I'm thinking I want to add a dog, licking up some frosting and bit of clutter coming out of the drawer and stuff. Any comments or critiques are quite welcome.

[Eli]

@tessaw LOVE this! Laughed out loud. I love the whole "frozen in time" aspect with the expressions on the girls' faces. I love hands dragging down through the frosting. So funny and good!

[Chip Valecek]

@tessaw I adding a dog would be an awesome addition to the piece. I hope you can get back into the art groove.

[Miriam]

Oh, these kids are in trouble!
It looks great! The gestures and expressions are right on, & I like your idea for adding a dog! If they have one, it'd be in on this for sure!

[TessaW]

Thanks guys! I just have to figure out what kind of dog to put in now.

[Miriam]

@tessaw Ha, ha! I was wondering, "What kind of dog?".

[TessaW]

@miriam Hah! Any suggestions? I have to admit, I'm more familiar with cats. There's too many different kinds of dogs, my mind goes blank!

[Miriam]

@tessaw I guess it depends on how much space you want it to take up in the picture. Have you thought about whether it should be a big dog or a small one?

You could go with a beagle or similar shaped dog that isn't a specific breed.
Here's a cute one--it's a cross between a Yorkshire Terrier and a Beagle. Height: 12-15 inches, Weight: 20-25 lb.

https://www.dogmal.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/borkie.jpg

[Gary Wilkinson]

I noticed that you had dropped off the forums a bit, but glad to see you have returned

I think a dog would be a nice addition, but feel that the piece feels a bit flat due to the composition and perspective. I think the piece looses some of it's shock (oh no they messed up the cake!) as perhaps too much is revealed all at once and the focal point isn't as solid as it could be. The floor is holding a lot of the weight in this scene, but adding a dog may fix that, although then you are going to have an added piece of action to the scene that is already quite busy. Another thought is, do we need to see the entire body of the father? If you brought him more into the foreground and darkened his values I as a viewer would feel more part of the scene and the "oh no we've been caught" focus of the scene would be better interpreted. There are just my thoughts though, so even if you don't use any of them I hope they are of use.

[TessaW]

@gary-wilkinson Thanks for the input! I have to admit, I didn't play with the comp too much on this one. It was an assignment for a gesture class, where you had to utilize a certain model's poses to create a scene, and I think I just defaulted to showing the whole pose for assignment purposes. That doesn't mean I can't change it though. Additionally I wanted to try out a vignette that didn't have a square/rectangular format. I will play around with it and see how it looks!

[TessaW]

@miriam That dog is so cute!!

[rcartwright]

I would skip the dog, as it isn't needed to further the main story

[TessaW]

How about this change? I think i would need to adjust the dad's pose a bit more if this change was made, but does it enhance the overall feel?

[Miriam]

@tessaw I liked the original composition, & felt like the girls were a strong 1st read. My reaction:
1st (the girls) Oh! They are IN Trouble! / Shocked
2nd (the man) The cake! / All that work!
3rd noticing things like the bunny on the chair, & the squished frosting

This change looks good, too though--except the man's dark pants are drawing too much attention & pulling me down into that corner, and I miss the detail of the frosting. I do see that it's more like being in the scene rather than looking at the scene. I still like it both ways. I like the man's whole stance--it's a nice expression of "Oh, no!", and being able to see his face / expression.

[Kevin Longueil]

@tessaw This is looking really nice! - i agree about the pants maybe being too dark - here is a quick thumbnail idea that might be cool? - adds a slightly more conspiratorial feel with another little girl in the window - just a thought - feel free to ignore

[Jose Ramos]

@tessaw More chocolate on the floor!

[holleywilliamson]

@tessaw I like the change, it brings more focus on the girls. This is such a fun piece!

[TessaW]

Thank you all for your feedback so far! It's been really helpful and you've provided some great ideas. I've made some additions, and I feel that perhaps the dad's pose may need to change as a result. What do you think of these general ideas?

[Chip Valecek]

@tessaw I like C the best. Great addition with the dog and kid in the window. You should had some chocolate hand prints on the walls or curtains.

[Miriam]

@tessaw I like A & D the best (B seems like it could be read as angry instead of exasperated). All the additions look good! I also like the simplicity of the first one at the start of this thread. Whatever you decide to go with, this piece makes a fun little story!