May 23, 2018, 3:35 PM
The little island counter jutting out seem to be the issue, also the baseball is creating a tangent with the counter
Critique for #draw50things
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Hello
I've been working on this the draw 50 things challenge and hopefully also as portfolio piece and i keep second guessing the perspective ( I won't tell you how many times I've redrawn it!) I was hoping to get some critiques on it before i start on the values and colour..
I can see that the perspective is off but not sure how to fix it. Also is it OK that the perspective is a little wonky for children's book illustrations? ( thats the laziness talking
)Any critiques and advice will be much appreciated!
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@sheri_p79 The perspective may be off a little, but I can't tell where. I would say it works for me. As far as any other critiques, I wouldnt make the turkey so round. If I didn't see the bones I wouldn't know what it is. There seems to be a lot of open area in the middle, maybe if you slide the ball over a little and add someting in the foreground like a trash bin with overflowing food. Also maybe add a throw rug near the sink will help bring everything together.
Its a great piece so far. I love the dog, that is something my dog would do. She is always trying to get the food off the counter. Looking forward to your progress.
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Hi Chip thanks so much for taking the time to give critique, i'll try those out, i really like the idea of the overflowing trash bin.
The main area i'm having trouble with the perspective is the breakfast bar the tubby turkey is sitting on
maybe I've just been looking at it to long.Thank you, i'm glad it reads! Haha yeah my two dogs are the same - they're a set of opposable thumbs away from world domination
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The little island counter jutting out seem to be the issue, also the baseball is creating a tangent with the counter
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@rcartwright Hi thanks for feeding back
Yep agreed not sure how to fix it, I've redrawn it a bunch and it still bothers me. Could be because i was pushing it to try and make it feel higher up to give plausibility to the grappling hook! As if a dog with a grappling hook wasn't plausible enough I'll sort the ball tangent when i try Chips suggestions, thanks again!
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Hi Sheri--cool illustration! Love the concept, probably because I have dog like that. He's old now, but in his day was a champion countertop surfer! I think as far as wonkiness goes, it's great if it looks intentional and is part of the style of the piece. In that case, I'd go with it and exaggerate it a lot more...
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@eli Hi Eli Thanks so much! Haha i'll bet, if my two are anything to go by. Nothing is safe, you have to keep a very close eye on your dinner.. blink and its gone
I shall embrace the wonkiness! -
I know what I did is rough but you seem to have a lot of perspective points but these objects are fixed
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@rcartwright thank you so much for taking the time to do that, Its really helped!
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@sheri_p79 great idea & lovely drawing, I love the dog! I wonder what it would look like if the dog was a little bigger/closer to us? I like the cat hiding behind the sofa too!
I don’t know if it’s just me, but my eyes keep shooting off along the parallel lines of the cupboards. I wonder if something to the right of the foreground could break up those lines a little. Maybe if the ball was a little bigger?
XXx
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@rachy Hi Rachel , thank you! I quickly tried that and it really helps make it clear that is the focal area
I see what you mean about the cupboards it needs something to frame it in - if i can figure out the perspective for the overflowing trash can Chip suggested that may work. -
I've had a go a reworking it and started laying in some local colours - tried to push the height of the breakfast bar as much as i could without having to redraw the whole thing -its still very messy I know, but has it improved the perspective issues?
ps. I will be colouring the dog in, he's not a ghost!
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@sheri_p79 I think its looking great!
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@chip-valecek Thanks Chip, I wish I'd asked you guys earlier, would have saved me a few redraws
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Hi All this is where I've gotten too, is it portfolio ready or does it need more work?
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@sheri_p79 I like the piece and maybe a few more finishing touches could really set it off. Two things really stand out to me. The perspective is still off between the counter under the turkey and the doorway. Though the value hides it a little I can't un-see it now because they're so close to the focal area and directly between the turkey and dog. The other would be a suggestion to darken the value of the room behind the dog to create more contrast. One other suggestion would be to gradually darken the values on the left side of the image even more just to emphasize the focal point a little more. Having said all of that I like how you rendered the floor and cabinets. I tried something similar a while back and really struggled with it.
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@jon-anderson Hi Jon thanks so much for your critiques, What has been seen cannot be unseen! Yep I got caught half way between pushing the perspective for a sense of chaos and also to give plausibility to the grappling hook and trying to follow the perspective with a bit of a "meh" result. I guess knowing what to push will come with experience. I should have picked a less awkward view until I had a lot more practice with perspective!
I'll have another pass at it, thanks again.
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@jon-anderson I've taken another pass with your critique in mind, i still have to fix the rendering but i think its helped - I've been staring at it so long i cant tell any more!
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@sheri_p79 That's much better! It was a very subtle thing but you've managed well I think.