Childrens book character EDE
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These are very nice Jana! - a couple of things pop out as maybe needing some attention - the space between the boy's face and the girl's face in your sketch reads well - we see enough of the boy's face toy believe there is some distance between them - in the painted version that space is missing and it looks as though the boy and girl's heads are touching - i think the cast shadow on the boys face from the girl's hair amplifies this feeling - also there is twist in the girl's position but it does not read as such - her sternum is facing the boy's left forearm (or should be) but where the knot on her shawl is positioned it looks more like her sternum is facing forward - i think if you simply move the knot to our right a bit it will help quite a bit - the boy's arms should be almost straight i think - it is very awkward or very cozy (depending on the circumstance) to ride this way - you have to reach around to the handle bars and bend your elbows outward a bit if you don't want to squeeze your passenger - so i think a little straighter would be good - also i think you could add a suggestion of thumbs on the hands - i think we would see at least a small peak at each thumb in this position - lastly the lines that implied the foreshortened forearm of the girl is missing from the painting but was very helpful in the drawing..just one little line in the right spot on each forearm will make us believe her forearms are there and that they are doing what they should ...
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Thanks for your feedback!
@Kevin-Longueil I am really thankful for your detailed feedback, Kevin. I can see what you mean and it is good that somebody pointed to all these little details. I will now sit down and work on it. Hopefully hear you soon. -
Good to hear!.. I am always worried that I will be taken as rude or annoying especially since I am obviously not the best at some of the things I am pointing out...there was one other thing I did not mention because I thought it might be a matter of it being your style - but I'll mention it now that I know you are not annoyed :)..if you were to draw a centerline down the girls face that went from the part in her hair down through her nose, through her teeth to the center of her chin, that line would go between her two front teeth...I think that is the point where her teeth on our left should start to straighten and curve maybe up and back a bit from..as it is now it looks as though either her upper jaw is tilted but her eyes and nose are not ..or that her teeth on our left get gradually longer...but this may also be a style thing too - I really enjoy what you are doing and that you are showing us your process...(pretty cool that Lee popped in and gave you a thumbs up too!) - looking forward to seeing your next piece!
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they are so sweet!
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@Jana Looks very good Jana - the only new item i would mention is Ede's head shape - if i look at your first drawing of Ede at the top of the page and the last drawing i think his head is a different shape - it looks to me that Ede's head should recede more quickly on our left than it does - the distance from his eye to the edge makes the plane of his face seem very wide and flat - i know his head is turned more in the first drawing but i don't think the difference would be great - so long story short...i think i would move the line that defines the right hand side of Ede's face (our left) should be moved in closer to the his eye - if you put your finger over the area and take it away it kind of jumps out at you as needing a small change -) i still think the there might be a couple of little thumbs poking out from one ore two hands..just a peek:)...really looks good though - the knot on her shawl looks great and she has a great smile... Ede's arms look great too!
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@Kevin-Longueil
Sorry for coming back to you so late. You are right with Edes head. If you see the first image of him, he has a kind of oval head. Maybe that is why it looks somehow weird in this drawing. I will try to improve it. Right now I am distracted from Ede by Rapunzel as you saw.
Thanks again for your great feedback. It made the piece already much stronger.