Confessions of an Unsuccessful Artist

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  • Thank you for the amazing replies, I appreciate the time you've taken to do this, it's so good to know I'm not alone in this! I feel the main starting steps is to immerse myself into the SVS community, make time to consume for the ideas/visual bank, and start to create for myself.

    @Durribie I dig the courage to go independent! And feel you're pain with the lack of gigs, having to have the other half pay for things. I'm sorry to hear your story from school, but warming to know others used art to escape as kids. I like the attitude you have now! From what others have said it sounds like the right way to pursue this crazy career! Thank you for sharing!

    @Eric Castleman Those are some cool insights into these stories, it's interesting how deep meaning and metaphors can run in them! I guess for me it's about trying to figure out what I want to say. I think you're right in post my work and getting involved with the SVS community, which I hope will give me confidence to go into SCBWI, or whatever art forms equivalent I go into. Thank you for your kind words πŸ™‚

    @Missmarck I love the story about find a photo of your younger self, it made me laugh, I think it's so great! Something I have noticed is that over the last few years I've consumed less and less stories, books, art, films, etc I guess making the time to consume as well as create is key. I don't think I have seen that video, I'll dig it out and give it a watch, thank you!

    @jasonandroosmith I really get the bit about thinking how competitive it is, it does gets me down quite often, from what you said at the end and others have mentioned I think it's key to enjoy creating and purpose will come - I know that I had read style being like that, and so have tried not to pay forcing any particular style on my work, however I never thought of purpose in the same way, thank you for throwing another perspective on it! πŸ™‚

    @stringfellowart I appreciate you sharing, it's been such a good feeling finally getting this stuff out, and to know others go through this! I like the idea you mention that each form of art you take on it leaves an impression on you.

    @RHirsch these do sound familiar, the wording has helped me understand how my mind works these things out and gotten me to think about how I can start to overcome this. Thank you for welcoming me in, from what you and others have said I feel I need to get on board with getting involved with the SVS community, I dig the idea of getting a sketch and just starting to sketch, going back to basics and seeing how that develops. I'll make it my first task to get one and start tomorrow, thank you πŸ™‚

    @TessW Yeah I'm amazed at the awesome responses from everyone, there's so much people have to offer and I'm so happy we're willing to share! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it is very much appreciated πŸ™‚ I think you're right on the different types of artist and that I've not explored my own ideas. It's interesting talking about other people being in creative work but not liking what they're doing, I had three university friends come visit me some months back, they all managed to get into the industry they wanted in some form however none of them said they were happy with what they were doing, this is something I'd forgotten about until now. Your last paragraphs inspiring, before when I was trying to figure out a product to make it was so focused around what I thought other people want, I feel I have such a better grasp on the concept now, I'll need to re watch that video again! Thank you for your reply!

    @Leontine Thank you for your encouragement! I can really understand the '..more then not trying at all.' Idea, it's how I put other things in context in my life so this has really clicked with me! I the main pointer I've got from these great responses is to get hitting that post button more, and getting into the community. Thank you for the reply πŸ™‚

    @Renduin I'm very sorry to hear about your illness, I am glad you've shared the perspective it has given you, it's a wonderful insight into stepping back and seeing what really matters. Thank you for the advice and responding to my post!

  • SVS OG

    Everyone has said such great things to you. I would like to say that all artists are challenged. We work hard, we get critiqued hard (sometmes) and can be so discouraged when it seems we're not getting anywhere. I listened to a recent podcast with an I can't remember his name but he was talking with Will Terry. Something they said really struck me. "Fail Forward". We work, we create and it's never good enough. The next thing will most likely be better but it will still not be good enough. But it is good enough. It's good enough for that period of time in our progression. You learn from each project, each bad decision about what kind of work you "should" do, etc. Don't worry about it. Just do it. Do your art. Share it. Some people will love it. I post here for honest critiques and help from other artists but if I get discouraged, I can post something to my facebook page and everyone of my small group of followers will like it πŸ™‚ Because they don't know whats really good art or not and they don't care. That gives me a little boost πŸ™‚ Also, I can burn out for a bit on a project but I just put it aside for a day or two and do something fun and easy creative outlet or I give myself challenges to do each day, then I go back to the drawing board and everything is fresh again. I finish it. Start what you finish. I often redo or try to save my flubbed up stuff and sometimes it comes out better than I thought it could. As others said, get yourself out there-the good the bad and the ugly. I don't get my art selected for art challenges but I do get some good tips in the process of making it and I think I have made some progress. It also keeps me humble. Now I'm rambling and off track! Sorry.

    To keep it short: Keep your day job and have FUN creating whatever you want to in your spare time. Share it. Share it. Share it.

  • SVS OG

    I can also relate to this. I was told growing up that I was talented, and unfortunately I was also told (basically) that I'd never make it in a career in art. I tried to self-study through books to learn to draw better but I didn't understand the basics and art went from being my dream to being a hobby. I had no one to teach or encourage me. After my early 20's I stopped drawing as much and I produce maybe 2 finished pieces a year since then. So now in my mid-30's I feel like I'm starting all over again to learn how to draw. I have to force myself to pick up a pencil and practice and I actually spend most of my time watching tutorial videos--and not drawing along. shame I feel like I draw worse now than I did 10 years ago because I'm so out of practice. I have no style or direction, but I'm working on that now thanks to SVS. I was listening to a radio show unrelated to art about a month or so ago. The woman said "Remember what you loved doing as a child. Do that for a living." And like a sledge hammer it hit me, I LOVE COMICS! I spent my childhood all the way up to my early 20's reading and drawing comics. I dreamed of being a successful comic book artist. I don't know when, or why I ever stopped reading them but I feel a renewed sense of joy for having picked them back up again. The past 10 years or so I've only been painting landscapes in acrylics with very little character art though. Hence, starting all over again. Anyway, your post reminded me of a beautiful video by Marco Bucci that I saw recently. He tackles the subject of creative blocks from the mental aspects of it. It was a real eye-opener and I think you and the others who posted here may also enjoy it. I'm pretty sure it's okay to share since Bucci also did SVS videos. ^u^

  • @cstoneart Going back to basics is what I had to do three years ago. I had to swallow my pride and admit that I was missing a lot of skills necessary to do the job I want - which is illustration. I took pages of notes while watching SVS classes, and spent many nights sketching and practicing basic skills like perspective. I still have much to learn but I believe I come to it now with more humility and gratitude. Hopefully.

  • So I've started a little sketchbook, I'm struggling to figure out what to draw but I'm trying to keep it causal, trying not to worry about it too much. My next step I think is to get into the community and get onto helping others where I can (: Consuming content has taken a bit of a back seat, I need to make time to get reading / watching! It's been good being able to write this stuff down, it sort of solidifies my thoughts I guess.

    @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen I really like that term 'fail forward' I'll have to keep it in mind! Thank you for the encouragement πŸ˜ƒ

    @Washu I think something that I'm missing in my life is other people who create art, like you hadn't had in your early years. I'm so happy for you that you've found what you love again! (: I'll give the video a watch, thank you!

    @RHirsch Yeah it's hard but necessary I think to grow as an artist, thank you for the reply (:

  • SVS OG

    I know where your coming from, I work part time at asda and do the odd commission oil painting on the side... but for me I didn't quite get that purpose feeling until I started my own how to channel on youtube . It gave me a way to create something that would be seen and used as a learning aid or just entertainment or for sleep therapy lol... But from doing that it kept my art alive and I have kept going and have got better and better... Maybe you should do something like that, might give you the motivation needed to keep doing art that doesn't have that almost pointless feeling to it.

  • @cstoneart You were very brave to write and post about your struggles being an artist. I'm sorry that you're going through some tough times. I can definitely relate to your story about trying to find a path in life that you want to focus on exploring... Besides working part-time at retail stores, I have done graphic design work and illustrations, but I didn't feel passionate about it. Lately, I have been redefining myself as an artist and exploring various styles. One of these styles is called 'kawaii', which means 'cute' in japan. I LOVE THIS STYLE SO MUCH and at 31 years old I feel like I finally found an art form that I love. Being open minded about the process of finding a style/medium/art form that fits you, like a pair of shoes, could help you to find something you love to do.

    Also, I think that finding our 'purpose' in life is connected to providing 'value' to other's lives. I feel like my 'purpose' is to provide 'value' in the form of smiles and laughter to cheer people up and encourage them to make positive changes in their lives. You can help others to feel happy, motivated, healthier, comforted, excited... It's up to you. πŸ™‚ 'Value' can also be understood as a solution to a problem, and there are tons of problems in the world today that need solutions.

    "Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value."

    –Albert Einstein

    The definition of success can be subjective, so what is your definition of success?

    Take care and I hope you feel better soon. Here is a link to a positive book that has helped me get through the hard times:

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  • SVS OG

    I think that part of being an artist, is just learning how to cope with your own creativity. We are all such a mess sometimes. Something about art and depression that seem to go hand in hand. Sometimes I feel like art is the cause and sometimes its the cure. I struggle a lot because I need to do it, its part of me, but I also lack the confidence, my skill level is never where I want it to be, it feels like a completely impractical thing to need to do...

    When I was little I had teachers tell my parents they needed to put me in a special art school - which they couldn't afford. But, it felt like I had something. And then I went to a different school, where the teachers thought I was terrible at everything. I have had many ups and downs like that in life. But, I can't get away from my art, because it's too much a part of me. I process so much through creativity. I've tried to commit to it and been stressed by the need to produce and sell, make it worthwhile. I've tried to give it up and I can't.

    Interestingly enough, the best thing that has happened to push me forward artistically is when, all of a sudden, I had NO time for art.
    My husband and I got married and had 5 kids - one after another. That was the end and the beginning for me. I struggled for a while. I used to think I could only be artistic with time and space to get "in the zone." Don't even try with that many kids. It wont happen. I got really frustrated. Felt like I was losing myself... But, then I heard my husband say something. Ive heard him say it a thousand times actually. Hes a musician and he always tells people trying to learn an instrument, "5 minutes a day. If you want to improve, just commit to 5 minutes a day. That's all. Some days, you'll maybe do more, some days not, but you WILL see progress". Anyway, one day it clicked for me. I can do that. I would take care of my family because that's what's important now. I would also draw a little here and there - 5 minutes a day. I would fill cheap sketchbooks with bad drawings. I joined Instagram to post these sketches. I participated in Inktober and Mermay and other art challenges. I decided to be inspired by other artists and not just intimidated/depressed by them. Someday, my kids will be grown and I will have more time. Maybe by then I will have gained the skills to do something big. But, when I have no time, I have no pressure. I can be okay in the learning season. To do my normal job, let myself be creative, and learn to find meaning and purpose in doing laundry and baking with my girls and playing Legos with my boys and not in finishing a perfect piece of art. And, every now and then I actually do finish something, sell something, notice the progress I've made... I've even miraculously had time to submit a piece or 2 to a Thursday SVS before. I can't even tell you how that change in mindset has helped me, though. I have seen improvement, but I have also seen myself gain a healthier mindset. My value as a human isn't so tied to how well I draw or how much I produce. I feel stable. Lord knows how I'll do when the kids are out of the house, but my 5 minutes a day has grown me already and I think I'm getting better. I'm okay with that. Progress not perfection. πŸ™‚

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