@cstoneart You were very brave to write and post about your struggles being an artist. I'm sorry that you're going through some tough times. I can definitely relate to your story about trying to find a path in life that you want to focus on exploring... Besides working part-time at retail stores, I have done graphic design work and illustrations, but I didn't feel passionate about it. Lately, I have been redefining myself as an artist and exploring various styles. One of these styles is called 'kawaii', which means 'cute' in japan. I LOVE THIS STYLE SO MUCH and at 31 years old I feel like I finally found an art form that I love. Being open minded about the process of finding a style/medium/art form that fits you, like a pair of shoes, could help you to find something you love to do.
Also, I think that finding our 'purpose' in life is connected to providing 'value' to other's lives. I feel like my 'purpose' is to provide 'value' in the form of smiles and laughter to cheer people up and encourage them to make positive changes in their lives. You can help others to feel happy, motivated, healthier, comforted, excited... It's up to you. 'Value' can also be understood as a solution to a problem, and there are tons of problems in the world today that need solutions.
"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value."
The definition of success can be subjective, so what is your definition of success?
Take care and I hope you feel better soon. Here is a link to a positive book that has helped me get through the hard times: https://www.amazon.com/Daybook-Positive-Thinking-Affirmations-Collection/dp/1598428942