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    Feedback on composition

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    • J
      Javier Algarra last edited by

      Hi everybody! I'm working on an illustration and before continuing with it I wanted to get some feedback on the composition. I made some thumbnails, then I proceeded with a rough sketch/values. This is what I came up with (I hope you can understand it, some lines are very rough):
      0_1496692124269_Patio.png

      And here it is as a thumbnail:
      0_1496692227554_PatioTh.png

      I believe it reads well, but I'd really appreciate your input. Thanks!

      https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • MOO
        MOO SVS OG last edited by

        Reads well to me! Love the guy jumping into the pool 😉 Nicely done!

        Marsha Ottum Owen

        J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • Lee White
          Lee White SVS Team SVS Instructor Pro SVS OG last edited by

          values and composition work well. Good job there!

          The pose of the guy jumping doesn't look natural to me. Maybe try some other poses...

          Good luck!

          SVS Faculty Instructor
          www.leewhiteillustration.com

          J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • J
            Javier Algarra @MOO last edited by

            @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen Thank you!! 🙂

            https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

            MOO 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • J
              Javier Algarra @Lee White last edited by

              @Lee-White Thanks! I really like that pose, but I will try a couple more.

              https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

              Chip Valecek 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • Chip Valecek
                Chip Valecek SVS Team SVS OG @Javier Algarra last edited by

                @Javier-Algarra I think if you rotate him so his head is in front of his feet it would feel more natural.


                https://www.instagram.com/chipvalecek/
                https://www.facebook.com/cvalecek
                http://www.cshellmedia.com/

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                • Lee White
                  Lee White SVS Team SVS Instructor Pro SVS OG last edited by Lee White

                  I think the problem is that pose looks like it's right in between an out of control jump, and a dive. His feet being forward is the problem. So you need to figure out if this guy is in control or not, and then design the pose accordingly. Right now it's right in the middle of the two so it doesn't work as well as it could. If he's out of control, make him REALLY out of control. If he's in control, that needs to show as well.

                  Here's some samples of cannonballs, bellyflops, etc.
                  0_1496696698876_91849745.jpg 1_1496696686011_Unknown.jpeg 0_1496696686011_belly-flop-1.jpg

                  SVS Faculty Instructor
                  www.leewhiteillustration.com

                  Chip Valecek 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                  • Chip Valecek
                    Chip Valecek SVS Team SVS OG @Lee White last edited by

                    @Lee-White oh that bottom picture... ouch


                    https://www.instagram.com/chipvalecek/
                    https://www.facebook.com/cvalecek
                    http://www.cshellmedia.com/

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • Eric Castleman
                      Eric Castleman last edited by

                      Yes, I agree with Lee. I thought the character was going upwards like he was jumping on a trampoline. The cannonball pose would really work much better imho.

                      EricCastleman.com

                      SCBWI profile
                      https://www.scbwi.org/members-public/eric-castleman

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                      • Lee White
                        Lee White SVS Team SVS Instructor Pro SVS OG last edited by

                        maybe like this idea...0_1496697132065_1496692126949-patio.jpg

                        SVS Faculty Instructor
                        www.leewhiteillustration.com

                        J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                        • J
                          Javier Algarra @Lee White last edited by

                          @Lee-White Amazing! That actually works a lot better. I think Im going to try that pose. Thanks!

                          https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • J
                            Javier Algarra last edited by

                            OK, I reworked it with different poses:

                            0_1496705985430_Patio2.png
                            1_1496705985433_Patio3.png
                            2_1496705985433_Patio5.png

                            The first and second are the same, just with different angles. I think the second one works the best, but I'm having doubts with the height of the jump. I think it's too high, but at the same time if I lower the jump, it may brake the composition. I think I'd rather have more of an unrealistic jump that works, than the other way around.

                            https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

                            NoWayMe 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • NoWayMe
                              NoWayMe @Javier Algarra last edited by

                              @Javier-Algarra Great work!! I would go with #2 or #3, I like both!

                              One thing, I know it's not a final sketch and maybe you are planning to change that already, but the head of your characters (especially the 2 guys at the table and the lady in the water) are really big! I would make them significantly smaller!

                              Otherwise, it looks good!

                              noemiegionetlandry.squarespace.com
                              noemie_illustration on Instagram

                              J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • J
                                Javier Algarra @NoWayMe last edited by

                                @NoWayMe Thanks! Yeah I noticed the heads sizes, it's a problem I constantly have, the lady in the water is actually a little girl, that's why the big head 🙂

                                https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

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                                • MOO
                                  MOO SVS OG @Javier Algarra last edited by MOO

                                  @Javier-Algarra You're welcome. I guess Lee knows better though...good thing he saw it! 🙂

                                  Marsha Ottum Owen

                                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • T
                                    Tyler Hallstrom last edited by

                                    This is something small in comparison to the main action of the character jumping, but the girl the glasses appears to be the only character not looking at him jump. Yet the way she is adjusting her glasses makes it seem as though she has been startled by what I can presume in the announcement of a cannonball. Value wise I think you are set for a nice composition as well. Nice work on that.

                                    Tyler J. Hallstrom
                                    One Drawing at a Time.
                                    https://www.tylerjhallstrom.com/

                                    J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • J
                                      Javier Algarra @Tyler Hallstrom last edited by

                                      @Tyler-Hallstrom Yes! That was the idea. I think it'll look better with the details:
                                      0_1496721795765_PatioGirl.png

                                      https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

                                      T 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • T
                                        Tyler Hallstrom @Javier Algarra last edited by

                                        @Javier-Algarra Excellent! Just what I was thinking, this will look really nice once it is fleshed out.

                                        Tyler J. Hallstrom
                                        One Drawing at a Time.
                                        https://www.tylerjhallstrom.com/

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