Comps. Please give feedback!

[MOO]

Did thumbnails and now working on comps. Can you give me feedback on composition please?

Is there too little variety in types of illustrations or angles?

Am I making the illustrations too complicated?

I have two "stories" going on at once, in a way, one with the girl and her mom and one with Uncle Carl and the chickens. The girl and her mom don't really have anything to do with Carl and the chickens except that they are viewing what is happening. (chickens roostng on Uncle Carl-a counting book).

The cow needs to be in there for the ending......I think. How often though?

Should I downplay the mom and daughter and focus more on Carl and the chickens? ( How can I show who is speaking without the mother and daughter though.) Just a little scene of them on the first page to show who is talking?

I'm starting to answer my own questions I think BUT, I still want feedback!

Thanks!

[smceccarelli]

I think the thumbnails look lovely and you häve made a good start at varying the poses. I cannot comment on complexity of the drawings as I like details - probably even too much for my health!

I really wonder, however, if you need the girl and her mum. My agent has drilled me with a question about my book project: "Who is this story about?". That reminded me that this question is the fundamental pillar of screenwriting too, only in picture books is apparently even more important. So is there any story about the little girl and her mum? If they are just talking to each other throughout the book, maybe they do not really need to be in it? If they have a story too, and then Uncle Karl on top, that may become too complicated for children. Rules are there to be broken, but the vast majority of children book have only one main character. I have not read your manuscript, so I am not sure how this comment applies, if at all, just thinking out loud, I guess.

[MOO]

@smceccarelli Yes, that is exactly what I was thinking. The girl and mom don't really have any need to be in the book accept to show that they are who is talking. So, maybe a little vignette at the beginning might work and then devoting the rest to Uncle carl and the chickens. It actually helped me a lot to write my post as I began to see more clearly that I didn't really need them there. I was creating pictures that didn't have anything to do with the story which is a counting book. It's an interestng process. It will make the illustrations clearer too. I guess I always start with too much and have to pear down, in my experience So, you have confirmed it for me.

I've been listenng to the Picture Book Writing class and also reading her book and doing the assignments. It's actually very helpful in relation to my illustrating too. Kind of like you were sayng, it helps to weed out what doesn't belong. Thanks for taking time ot look at it. I always appreciate your input!