"Cat!" composition, your opinion?

  • Hello,
    I'm working on an illustration for my mr and mrs mouse serie (here, for those who didn't see the previous one: https://audreydowling.com/mixedmedia/#jp-carousel-666 ).
    Here, a big bad cat is coming while they were quietly working away in their garden
    Do you find this composition works for this scene?

  • I love your mr. and mrs. mouse! I'm glad you are doing another illustration with them. I like the composition. I see the mice first and then my eye is led to the cat. They are roughly all the same size, however. Try pushing their sizes to see what happens. Can't wait to see more!

  • Mr mouse can be closer int he frame, much larger. I can't wait to see the house!

  • SVS OG

    I think it's a good triangle composition. You might consider cropping it in just a little. I'd make sure something in the illustration is pointing our eyes towards the cat. When I looked at it I saw the front mouse first, then went over to the front door and the tree, I didn't see the cat until very last. Maybe that's how you want it to read though or it's just because it's still in the rough stage. Can't wait to see this, the other one turned out excellent.

  • Thanks! I'm taking note of your advice
    the pressure is on! 😃

  • what do you think?
    @evilrobot , for the cat, I'm planning to put focus on it with values and lighting


  • SVS OG

    @audrey-dowling Hello Audrey - this is looking great! - for critique i woulds say that for me the first composition was stronger (i could be wrong of course) but i thought it looked really nice - i did a quick thumbnail where i tried a couple of ideas just by stretching your image into an A4 ratio - my thought looking at the first image was maybe trying a larger cat and also not having Mr. and Mrs. Mouse know that he is there - i just put the shovel in Mr. mouses hand and turned him around to see how it would work - i think it has a bit more tension this way (maybe not what you are looking for though) - anyways feel free to ignore - i know it will turn out great no matter what you choose - really looking forward to seeing the finish 🙂

  • I wasn't too keen on having mister mouse turning his back first, but after trying it, I think it kind of works

  • SVS OG

    @audrey-dowling I think the cat is too small, if you look at your lady mouse and the cat they take up the same amount of space in the picture, I think making the cat bigger to make him more dangerous or you could use a shadow to say the cat is coming? Just some thoughts. Loving the characters and the tree house.

  • drawing finished but someone told me the action/meaning of the scene doesn't read well... so I'm confused
    what do you think?

  • @audrey-dowling I would adjust the direction the characters are looking. I suppose right now, I feel like the mouse holding the shovel should be looking at the cat not the other mouse. And the cat should be looking at the mouse. But neither of these is true, so I'm a bit confused too. Hope this helps!

  • SVS OG

    @audrey-dowling I think this drawing turned out really nice - i am not sure what the cat is up to - the cat is looking up at the tree/house ..maybe at the second floor - Mrs. mouse seems to be running inside - maybe to protect what is on the second floor? Baby Mouse? The main thing that makes me question whats going on though is the scale of the cat - the drawing is telling us that the mice are nearly as large as the cat or the cat is almost as small as a mouse - to me it seems plausible that the mice could stand up to the cat and sent it away due to the scale - i think just adding a bit of canvas and increasing the size of the cat and possibly have it looking at Mr. Mouse would get rid of this ambiguity - but really i should be asking what is the story? what is the cat up to?

  • Pro SVS OG

    @audrey-dowling This is a lovely drawing indeed, and a nice story moment. I think @Kevin-Longueil has some really valid point with eye direction - If the cat was looking at the mice and the mice were giving sign that they have noticed the cat, I think the narrative would be immediately clearer.
    The scale of the cat has already been mentioned, but I think there may be some issues with all scales and with the perspective in general. Following the lines of the garden, I seem to find the horizon slightly above the mice's head. This would mean the whole forest and the cat are too high in the picture: for this composition to work, the horizon should be more or less at the level of the cat's chest and we should see the whole garden and the mice from a higher viewpoint. Also, the lady mouse seems small compared to the other one, and the tree where the cat is feels like a bush rather than a tree. Maybe I am wrong, but definitely there is something disturbing about the relative sizes and positions. I do believe, however, that setting the gaze directions would already clarify the story more and lead to a nice illustration!

  • better? with text bottom right corner

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