• SVS OG

    Here are two mermaids gliding up behind a spear fisherman... it is pretty rough but i am wondering if it is reading well compositionally? that i look at it i think i should add a bit to the canvas and get her hand off the edge there - any critique is much appreciated 🙂

    0_1472839259752_Mermaids 1.jpeg

  • SVS OG

    Really nice work. Love the way you have the mermaids interacting and twisting in different directions. The only thing I might try is to put the diver more at an angle. You have a path composition going on where my eye starts with the bottom mermaid follows her up to the second one, and If you put the diver at just a little more of an angle he'll fall right in to the same path for a nice flow...don't know if I explained that well or not...anyway great work as always.

  • SVS OG

    @evilrobot Thank you for the feedback William - that is an excellent point - the man was originally angled and in a more fluid elegant pose - those lines behind his right foot are the composition lines that i made in the beginning indicating the flow that i wanted and he was angled along this lines - i will put him back there again and take another look at it - the reason i changed it was the three of them looked too much like the were together instead of the man being separate and different - so i moved him over and tried to line up his flippers to help the flow a little but still have him be angular and separate.... anyways - i'll put him back or move him over a bit - it's worth looking at again - Really appreciate to input!

  • Great composition! My two cents - I would lighten the value on the boat so the diver really stands out against it. Right now it looks as if the mermaids are just watching the diver, it might increase the tension if they were reaching for him to drag him down into the depths...mwah ha ha...

  • Pro SVS OG

    Great composition, with a fluid movement of the eye, great sense of tension. The overall value structure may be a little too dark - If I squint I just see a dark mass with two lighter bands at the top left. The silhouettes of the mermaids and the diver get lost - so maybe you could push the contrast around them just a little bit more.
    There is one thing disturbing me, and it is the back of the top mermaid. No issues with sexy pictures at all, it is just that buttocks are a consequence of the skeletal and muscle structure of creatures that walk on two limbs at the rear. A fish has a different skeletal structure, and a fish tail attached to buttocks makes it look a lot like a woman wearing a costume rather than a mermaid. Of course feel free to ignore - anatomy may not be the main point here!

  • SVS OG

    @Rebecca-Hirsch @smceccarelli Thank you both for the feedback really helpful - i agree i have a lot to sort out with the values - i am glad to hear that you both think the composition is working - i had an earlier version where the mermaid on the right had her arm up to the divers flipper ....but i moved it to her side and i feel like there is more of a story without the action - i love the idea that they are calmly gliding up from out of the deeps or perhaps the ineffable depths of our subconscious - a "Seadeath, mildest death known to man" - ....."Of his bone are coral made" is my working title for this - its funny i did not give the nudity a second though until you (Simona) mentioned the sexy aspect - i think i was in grade school when i got my fist anatomy book and usually draw everyone nude before i put clothes on them - i know it is not an issue for you but i wonder now if folks react negatively to this - honestly it would not matter a bit but i do wonder - i see your point about the buttocks though - but i think the fantastical nature of the mermaid gives me a little license 🙂 but i think in the end she will be clad in scales up to her hips - looking at the drawing that area really is a focal point at the moment - i did want to sort out her anatomy though - she is mostly believable except for her neck and head i think - i agree on it being too dark ... i really need to work on that! - Thanks again to you both really appreciate the feedback!

  • I think your compositing is working out very well. I would make the spear fisherman a bit smaller or much smaller to tell a bit more story. I did a quick scale and repositioning here 0_1473031628339_1472839261042-mermaids-1.jpg

  • SVS OG

    @Naroth-Kean Thank you for the feedback and the paint over Naroth! - always very appreciated! - i think opening up that area a bit looks good - i will revisit the scale - this would allow me to put the diver where i wanted him originally (and where i think William was suggesting he go too) - thanks again 🙂

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