Looking for a Critique on my Storm
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Hey Everyone,
I was thinking about revisiting this piece since it didn't place in yesterday's Crit Arena.
Is there something unclear about the concept?
The initial idea behind it was this giant squid was attacking the lighthouse, this other sea monster saves the day, and then has to hold the light up so that the ships don't hit the rocks in the storm.
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@Norman-Morana I did not get that concept the first few times I saw it. Then I looked at it closer today and then I got it. Maybe the sea monster could be gesturing to the ships to go away. Also maybe make the light brighter? I think because we didn't see the giant squid attacking the lighthouse in someway, we don't know what is going on. If there was more evidence that the squid was the bad guy and trying to destroy the lighthouse, then it might make more sense. Now that I understand the concept, I think it is a cool idea.
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@Norman-Morana I couldn't quite get the concept too. Although a tip for asking for a critique, if you want people to tell you if they get your concept, it's probably better not to mention the concept you had in mind in your critique request. Have people look at your image as a blank slate and then you'll see what all sorts of other things your image is conveying/not conveying by the responses you get. Now, I can't look at your image without your intended concept in mind, even though it wouldn't have been clear to me looking at the image with no additional context given.
I see that the scene is in the aftermath of a battle between the sea monster and squid, and the squid is knocked out, but I actually had to look/squint really closely to get that, and notice that the squid's eyes are crossed. Initially I thought it was still attacking the lighthouse or trying to shake the sea monster down since its tentacles were still curled around the base.
On the more technical side, because the light from the lighthouse is so dim, and the sea monster's arms are so skinny, I really couldn't tell it was trying to hold up the lighthouse for the ships, without reading your description. Also, given the direction of the waves, I would have imagined the rain to be slanted to one side from strong winds instead of just falling straight down.
I think if you changed the scene to an earlier timeline in the story, eg. where the sea monster is giving the attacking squid one last ferocious kick while struggling to hold up the lighthouse that is just about to topple over, your storytelling would be much clearer. As it is this illustration could work as one of the last panels in a comic telling the story of the battle, but I wouldn't pull it out as a standalone piece.
Hope this helps!
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I really struggled with understanding the story. A few things that I felt were hard to read...
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the sea monster looked more like a dinosaur and I couldn't understand why the dinosaur would be in the sea climbing a lighthouse. I think "sea monster" would be hard to convey when they're not positioned IN the sea. Because sea monsters are fictitious, it would be very hard to convey that that's what he is. I think our minds automatically connect to something recognizable.
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The Squid seemed more accessory to the water than the threat.
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lighthouse are usually built on land to guide boaters through dangerous waters, so it would be difficult to imagine a squid underneath a lighthouse that's standing upright, even though it's supposed to be knocked over.
I do really like the colors you've chosen, though I think I would lean more into a split complementary.
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@Norman-Morana I looked at the image before I knew the meaning and how I read it was that there was a big storm and the squid had been washed up on a rock and a dinosaur was sheltering at the top of a lighthouse and I think I got that it was holding up the light but in the smaller image I don't think I could see the light.
My main issue was the overall values were so dark and there was a lack of contrast and that made the images less clearer to read.
I guess the squid looks like it is passive not active, maybe dead or immobile. I really liked the image and thought in itself it was quite powerful. -
I actually did get the concept before I read your description of the concept. But given that this is rendered so well I think it's probably safe to assume the judges didn't get it either. My feedback on rendering could probably be completely ignored and it will still be a really strong piece, once you fix the readability of the concept. But for what it's worth:
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The only thing I'd change about the composition is perhaps consider having one main ship as the secondary focal point. The lighthouse's beam of light (which needs to be stronger) could direct our eye to it. Also consider only having one ship in the ocean. The other thing I would do to this point is have that ship either under or on top of the largest wave. At the moment all the waves are the same size so I'd make one giant one.
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I agree with the others that I think the design of the sea monster needs some work if you don't want it looking like a dinosaur. The problem as I see it is an anatomy one. Sea creatures have flippers. Land creatures have feet/paws, which is what your sea creature has.
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In terms of the rendering I think it's incredibly beautifully done and my feedback is probably nit-picky at this level. I do see some room for improvement with your values and colours. I feel like the sky and the ocean are pretty much the same value. I'd consider lightening up one or the other. The final thing I'd say is that I'd like to see a little bit more saturation of colour in the ocean. You've chosen such a beautiful green colour but it's so muted we don't get to see it really sing. It doesn't have to be bright or anywhere near full saturation but just a little bump up could be very beautiful.
Oh and I agree about the point about the slanting rain
Honestly I would have chosen this to be in the Top 16. -
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I liked this one, essentially the colors and textures. I wish I could see the expressions better and the light was brighter. Maybe a a crop and or increase the size of the creatures?
I didn’t even see that cool half crushed little car before zooming in and the cloud wave in the sky is great -
@Norman-Morana i thought that dino monster was going to crush that giant squid using the tip of the light house lol
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Hi, I want to thank everyone for the feedback and time they took, @Kim-Rosenlof, @JQ, @AngelinaKizz, @PenAndrew, @Katherine, @HeatherB, and @Nyrryl-Cadiz! You've all given me a lot to consider with this piece, and I can see where there is a lot of room to change things up. I'm thinking I'll take a little time away from the piece and I may go in a completely different direction. Monsters and action shots really aren't me. Additionally, one thing about my work that I was getting the feeling of doing and this kind of cements it, was making the scenes a bit too big and the characters too small to have a quicker read.
But I appreciate the constructive criticism and kind words, so thank you
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@Norman-Morana You are most welcome. I hope all the feedback wasn't like a sea of monsters that pulled you down! Keep holding onto your light! Your work is an inspirational beacon to us all.
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@PenAndrew oh no, you all are good lol. More just thinking about the work I want to do or be hired for. The sea monster illustration was a fun to explore but it was for this contest. If I’m going to spend more time on it I want it to fit me better.
