Falling Star Recovery Center | STAR contest feedback, please!
I'm having a debate with myself about which direction to go. My initial plan was a "Falling Star Recover Center" where a couple of kids are catching stars during a meteor shower and treating them.
But then I started second-guessing myself and wondering if an outside shot would be better. 2-4 seem more active to me, but they also lose the recovery center story. Note: In 1-3 they are using a net to catch the star, but in 4 it's a pillowcase (which seems a little more spontaneous).
Any thoughts on which direction I should take? Or any other feedback?
Jeremy Ross last edited by
Hi @miranda-hoover, definitely think option 1 is awesome!
@jeremy-ross Thank you!
Oh my gosh, I love this concept so so much!! I do love the interior drawing but I think catching the stars from an outside view does feel more active. The interior shot makes it seem like the stars are coming into the room of their own volition rather than falling into it. I absolutely love the pillowcase idea, too. It makes it seem like they just woke up to find stars falling everywhere and grabbed whatever was nearby to try to catch one. And I think the idea of catching a real star is interesting enough without adding the treatment portion. I can't wait to see how this piece develops!
Matthew Oberdier last edited by
@miranda-hoover #3 has a great silhouette
@miranda-hoover I think 1 tells more of the story, and it's also a nice composition, so that's my vote.
joosterwijk last edited by
Hi Miranda, love your ideas and also your sketches. So simple but with the value in there very readable. Good work!
I like the story of 1 but I’m not sure if the story of 2-4 is strong enough. Maybe if you make the pose of the child catching the star in 1 a little bit more dynamic like she is catching a star passing by, and show that a lot of stars are falling, it will work I think.
You can also show (almost) the same information and concept from outside in. But you have to crop closer to the window so you see a lot of interior. Good luck!
simonaburlacu last edited by
Hello, Miranda! I love your concept and I think that the first composition is the most interesting. Maybe something that will make things more clear would be to have like a basket or something where the stars are collected by the kid, maybe in his toys box. Also I would change the direction of the net to better the express the catching movement. Right now, it feels like the stars are entering the room. If you keep the net, the idea could be that this was something planned. maybe you can add a telescope in the room and some notes on the walls with stars and meteors, maybe a date and hour too. The kid may have seen this coming on the news and he planned it all.
Larue last edited by
@miranda-hoover Love the concept. I do like 1 but I think 4 could be strong too with the arch of the window glow creating a nice focal point but I'd love to see maybe one already caught while another is being reach for so we get a clearer understanding of the story line. Just my thoughts. I'm sure it will be great!
alicetheartist last edited by
I think number 1 is great, the interior is lovely and I like the suggestion from Simon to include star paraphernalia. Perhaps you could try a pillow case in number 1 instead of the net?
@Jeremy-Ross @aprilshin @Matthew-Oberdier @LauraA @joosterwijk @simonaburlacu @Larue @alicetheartist Thanks so much for your feedback!
I think I'll stick with 1 for story reasons, then work on making the characters more dynamic, make it so the stars aren't falling directly into the window (if I can swing it), and add more star stuff. I like the calendar and telescope idea!
I'm still feeling a bit attached to 3, so maybe I can finish that up as a portfolio piece later