May prompt progress, and Feedback Request
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@Kim-Rosenlof @lizardillo I really appreciate the extra sets of eyes on this. It really helps me right now to see what's clear and unclear to other viewers. Does this read more like a story with a punch line?
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@Valerie-Light This is looking good! It does read funnier now. I would still keep the unicorn's expression angry like the first illustration and make sure that you can see the banner that has the no trolls sign on it. I would keep the feel that the animals are going to get the trolls, but with the "friendly" weapons. Maybe the mouse could be pointing with an angry face at the trolls, but take that idea worth a grain of salt. I am not sure it needs to go that far; just an idea to make it clear on the first read. Hopefully others will chime in.
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@Valerie-Light This is such a great and fun concept. It is so well executed too with good drawing and composition. I love the joyful playful expressions. I think they work well with a kill em with kindness idea.
Just one thing throws me off:
While I like the idea of the mouse making eye contact with the troll, I am having a hard time suspending disbelief because the mouse is above the bridge and the troll is under it. The bridge should hide the trolls from view. Maybe make the road swing around the bridge ? Also the mouse’s eyes look creepy to me for some reason. Like it is a manic mouse with the Joker’s psycho personality creepy. But that is my opinion. Haha!Fantastic start. I look forward to seeing this in the sweet 16 cuz I think you have a contender.
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I really like the concept and the drawing, especially after the changes. Not sure if I agree with keeping the angry expressions though. I can perfectly understand the point that Kim made though. Is just that I personally imagined it more like we will get you and our happiness weapons will transform you in cuties like us. And that being scary for the trolls.
Well, I think in the end both concepts work to be honest, just giving a different point of view.
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So after reading the previous comment, I realize that you were probably going for something different than I thought for your second illustration. I didn't think about the animals being happy and trying to make the trolls happy too (or something like that. I guess they are "killing them with kindness"). It is good to get different opinions because people may see things differently than you
.Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kiminyrose/
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@Kim-Rosenlof I really think both concepts may work, is just a matter of which @Valerie-Light is aiming for.
If she wants a more "killing them with kindness" thing, than definitely your comment was spot on and I 100% agree with it.I read it differently exactly because of the happy faces on the second one, which was the one I focused more in. It is interesting to note these kind of things and see how certain differences may affect how people interpret the drawing.
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@TaniaGomesArt @Kim-Rosenlof This conversation is really helping me to clarify which story I want to tell. Thank you!
I think I want to a sort of manic, over-the-top cuteness to the army, and I want it to be clear that army is searching for trolls (so i'll clarify the anti-troll banner). The trolls under the bridge are afraid they'll be caught and maybe drafted into the cuteness army. (threat of peril, but not of violence.) I want people to feel really sympathetic toward the trolls- I think they would be the main characters in this story.@chrisaakins Thanks for the feedback! You are totally right that that angle of eye contact doesn't work. Darn. Gotta rethink that a bit.
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As the mouse has spotted the trolls, could it be alerting the others? Perhaps pointing at them and looking up as if to shout “hey! They’re under here”
Website: lizardillo.co.uk
IG: instagram.com/lizardillo -
@lizardillo ooh! I like that. And compositionally it would break the line of the bridge that's separating one group from another.
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I think this revision might be a solution to the mouse-to-troll sightline issue. Getting closer. Right now I think I'm overworking the rough, and I need to move on to a clean line drawing for the sake of time. (though I might change the mouse's lollipop to something that doesn't draw so much focus.)
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@Valerie-Light You've nailed it now! And for the lollipop, I think if you just scale it down in the clean line drawing, it won't distract from your point of interest. This is so well designed, and I'm excited to see the finish!
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Oh yeah, definitely nailed it!!!
Amazing how much difference there is just because of the mouse's pose. It's like now everything got connected much clearly and the story comes out easily. Great work!
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Thank you all for the encouragement! I've moved some things around on the left, and made my clean line drawing. I think the addition of the gnome man helps there.
I'm planning to work on this one in the same style as my Inn contest entry last month, so from here I'll move to watercolor and gouache, and then finalize details in Procreate again. Here goes!
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Posting painting progress from this weekend. I'm so much happier when I choose colors from my watercolor palette rather than from a color picker. Now just hoping i don't mess it up.
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Looking good @Valerie-Light, can’t wait to see this one finished! What a great concept.
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Thanks for all the pep talks so far! I think I'm about 80% done with this, and probably almost ready to scan back it into Procreate to adjust stuff and fix expressions and details, so please forgive the snapshots.
It is aaaalmost as funny as I hoped it would be. What would help land the punchline? I'm trying to walk a fine line between making the army dangerously cute without being too creepy, and making the family relatable but not pitiful.
Here are some of the things I'm thinking about:
- lots of butterflies and sparkles swirling around the army, rosy cheeks and twinkly eyes
- hearts or stars in their eyes?
- sky/background gets an ominous lime green glow and rimlight on the army?
- monsters slightly scarier? More teeth? Or more gross/drooly?
- Does it matter that the monsters aren't clearly travelers, per the prompt?
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Very cool @Valerie-Light. What if you have one of the monsters dazed and walking towards the cuteness parade as if being casted by a spell? Then you can have the dad monster reaching for his kiddo while still trying to hide?
Just a thought. I say it’s good to go now!
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@Valerie-Light I so totally love this one!!!! Can't wait to see it done! I love the irony, hahahahaha, sooooo good!
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I’m not sure what to suggest as I like it as it is, and I do have a tendency to over complicate things. Your watercolour skills are amazing!
I’m not sure the traveller thing is an issue but if you are worried perhaps adding couple of backpacks would give an impression of travellers.
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So nice to see it evolve! It's looking really good.
I don't have much of an advice at this point. I'm so new at illustration.
I'm a bit afraid of saying something that goes into details when I see an illustration that I like so much already.
