) but Edmund's arm on the table doesn't look quite right to me. I wonder if deleting it might be better, so that he's totally turned away and seperate from the group, then he could be in darkness to represent his turning to the 'dark side' in contrast to the light of the others?
I am just so impressed with your commitment and patience to get your image just right. Amazing also to hear from @xin-li how many redraws of images she does to perfect her books, very inspiring! I always feel very unqualified to comment on anyone’s posts as I’m a beginner at all this but I can see how amazingly people’s images develop through critique and want to be a supportive forum member!
So, here’s my small points but feel free to ignore 
. I really liked the way you showed the edge of Susan’s face rather than the back of her head as in earlier versions, however I still wasn’t certain if she was looking at Peter, Beaver or Edmund. I wondered whether you might kill two birds with one stone by shifting her body position a fraction so she is leaning forward, elbows on the table with hands still up by her mouth (same expression), but this would allow her to be leaning in to Beaver as the point of focus whilst also showing that she had her side to Edmund who was slinking away unnoticed. I realise this might affect how much of her face can or cannot be seen so feel free to ignore!
I thought @xin-li’s suggestion to move the cup so Beavers hand was more visible was excellent, as on first sight I didn’t appreciate that he was slamming his fist on table. I wondered if a shadow below his hand an a flatter edge to his paw like his first has hit the table might emphasise this point.
I also just wanted to say I LOVED your “together” image yesterday. I loved the concept of arguing in the car (which I did for many years with my sisters) but also love your line work and the retro feel to your images. A triumph!