12 Jul 2016, 23:46
I like the concept.
Third Thursday - Willie and Tod
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@Kevin-Longueil It's looking great! I like the stone texture, it fits with the feel of the tree which has fine detailed textures in it too.
I really like the idea of adding a few items to try and convey the idea that Willie has been there for months...but I wonder if the basket of mussels is the right choice, because it implies that he still has a food supply...and if he does, why is Death coming for him now? The sword and the shield presumably imply that he is a warrior, and I'd start to think that if he's still got food, then maybe he is injured (eg from battle) and that's why he's dying. So none of these choices are right or wrong, I'd just think about what story the items are telling. Perhaps his basket could be empty, with just a few shells around? But it is looking very good and will be good to see the next version
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It's coming along great. I see what you mean by losing energy. You are getting really close, I did a paint over with some strong suggestions to help you emphasize your focal point and tone down other areas of high contrast. In the image I am posting you will see that I moved your oar over, because it's creating a line that leads out of the image. I also experimented with the small tree on the rock, I placed a buzzard there (the tree was really pulling strong attention there), still strong enough to grab attention but not too strong. I toned down the contrast in the boat pieces, I angled his leg back to how you had it (it creates a strong leading line into his "triangle" shape). The sky has some value now to give you room to place clouds to emphasize the reaching hands. Lastly I toned down the rock and added some lighter tones to the reaper. It's feeling good, can't wait to see your final! ![alt text]
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This is a beautiful piece. The emotional content is very strong, the idea really original and moving. I have been out traveling for a while, and there has been already a lot of discussion. Nothing more to add, as I think the composition is working now very well (maybe some consideration on taking away the whole tree/bird feature over his head and have it just be a simple rock behind his back, letting the image be only about death and the stranded guy).
One thing that you left throughout and I am not sure is intentional is that death's face is really flat (I mean its real face, not the mask). It looks like painted on a flat surface rather than dimensional. Is that a wished effect? It does not look bad, actually, it could be an artistic choice.
Looking forward to the finished piece - though I would try to keep this really painterly and loose, because it already works now! -
@Dulcie Thank you so much for taking the time to critique my piece! - i keep trying different items on the ground i end up making it look cluttered - i will keep at it though - in my mind Willie is dying from exposure and has done his best to survive but ultimately could not survive - if truth be told this was originally going to be the blind man from the last drawing i did (for the fortune cookie 3rd Thursday) but i could not bring myself to give him such a bitter ending - that is why there is a sword and shield at his side though - i am definitely falling short story wise... too much in my head and not enough on the page - possibly i should add a coil of rope and some other boat related item and not try to show too specifically how he has spent his days - really appreciate that you are making me to struggle with my decisions
Thank you again!@DavidJMacias Wow David - Thank you for the awesome paint over - your work is very impressive and you have given me a lot to think about - i have toggled back and forth between a tones background and not and always end up like it without but i will try again - i like the toned down lighting on the strakes of the boat - i will do that - the oar has been a question mark for me - it was my way of saying Willie was on a boat and now he is shipwrecked - it's funny because i read it as pulling the eye back into the drawing but i think you are correct - i think i will try reversing the oar or losing the oar - You are making me reconsider my little tree.... this is painful indeed
I love my little tree - a tenacious symbol of life - the small bit of hope on this little island..... i was thinking of it a a third character that sent you back round to Death - from Death to Willie to Tree..to Death.... that was how i was trying to work it anyways - i will try reducing the size and possibly contrast too to see if it works better.... but man i am really attached to that tree Your buzzard is awesome for sure though - i hope i am not sounding like i am defending my bad choices i really do admire your work and take your advice very seriously - thank you so much for taking the time to do this paint over - really thankful@smceccarelli Thank you Simona! Yes - you are right about his face for sure - some of the things in the image are place holders - Death's face, the hands of Willie and Death, and parts of Willie (especially his feet) - i do have a habit of leaving things like that so long that they start to seem right to me - i like something about Death's face right now but know it needs to change a bit...but do not want to loose what it is i like about it - i'm hoping when i add a bit of shadow to the upper forehead of the skull that it will add volume - i'm kind of saving these things till last though - i will really have to look at my little tree a bit harder too .. you and David both are suggesting this - i will definitely try to keep things painterly and loose too as you say - thank you again for taking the time to critique - it is so helpful to me!
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Another minor update - @DavidJMacias and @smceccarelli - thank you both for making me rethink my tree - it is still there as you see but it has diminished considerably - still working out many other issues - but i think minimizing the tree was something i would not have even considered had you not mentioned it being a problem - so thank you again! now that i have posted it i see that the bottom right of the image may seem heavy because of it... i'll keep working on it - adding tone to the sky make help this
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Such a powerful piece! I love it
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I like the concept.
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@Kevin-Longueil Chiiiiills. Your stuff is always so striking, beautifully done and tells a story. Turning out really nice!
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@Kevin-Longueil I think the story is clearer with the boat. going through some of the other comments I like the idea of having an oar in his hand (perhaps a hero prop) it connects the person with the boat. I feel it would work better if the oar was not between the person and death it stops the flow. I am undecided about having leaves on the tree or having a dead tree. I understand the death motif but it is more a story of hope so leaves would be ok. Play with the directional lines to move eye around image. Perhaps oar in hand leading eye to boat. Broken mast of boat leading to tree, tree arching over leading to figures. Hand of death leading to shipwrecked man. You get the picture. I would draw it out but am in a bit of a hurry this morning.
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@Camomilla Thank you Camomilla!
@natiwata Thank you Nat!
@Chris-Perry Thanks for the feedback Chris - you may be right about the oar - it may make a triumphal return in the final... still not sure about it - i'm glad you see it as a hopeful piece too - it is strange for it to be trying to be that but it is i really appreciate your critique and value your input - but i most likely will stay with this composition at this point - i liked the boat too and it will make an appearance in a future illustration i'm sure - i think that even if i am not nailing the prompt, that this piece has some kind of life to it at the moment and i need to start refining the things i have left for last and let the piece stay what it has become.... if that makes sense - Thanks again Chris! -
Thanks for the kind words. No problem, looking forward to your final!
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Here is another little update - so much left to do but we are getting down to the wire - don't forget to submit before Wednesday at noon
