Seeking critique from other SVS members!

[Heather Foxwood]

Another stab at it. Thoughts?

[Sarah VanDam]

@Heather-Foxwood Hi Heather! Here’s me trying something: My first thought was that I couldn’t see the mouse in the first draft until you mentioned it. Maybe you could silhouette the mouse as a light shape against dark? Also, do you need the whole background? Maybe you could even do a spot illustration. Also, how could you design the props and the background to be more specialized to an elephant character? A tough question to answer, but it can make the illustration more interesting.

[MimiHecher]

@Heather-Foxwood Oh, this pov is pretty cool! Very good!

It seems like this illustration's purpose should rather be to show how cool you can visually tell emotions, and not how much interior you draw. Too much of the room just takes the focus away, I would even crop away a lot of the right side of the illu. No need to see the end of the bed. But it would be nice to see most of the bedside table.

[Heather Foxwood]

@MimiHecher thank you. I agree the bed was too much there. Messed with it again, practicing as a full page spread so nothing important is in the middle of the page. Are the colors going in the right direction? Shading and lighting is just a test so far. I’m struggling with a color scheme. The reason I am trying to add a background is my portfolio is lacking in those so Inam working to learn to draw interesting settings. My favorite thing to do is characters but I am sure if I want to get out there some sembelence of a setting is important.

[Chantal Goetheer]

@Heather-Foxwood the composition looks really good. The colours are tricky because when you turn the image to gray scale (see below) some parts of the bed are the same colour as the elephant so the elephant blends a bit into the bed. Also the mouse might be more emphasised in terms of contrast. Im no good with colours myself so can't really give more helpful thoughts. It was talked about in the magic of colour lessons. I get the idea but find the execution very hard. The small mouse and big elephant work really well with the angle and emotion.

[Heather Foxwood]

@Chantal-Goetheer oh my goodness thank you that helps a ton. I just joined SVS in January so I haven't gotten to take that course yet! But I never thought of running it through as a black and white to show contrast. I'll play with that more--again, thank you so much it helps a ton!

[MimiHecher]

@Heather-Foxwood Wow, this new composition is GREAT!
I love how you managed to put in a lot of children's stuff although you don't show much of the room!

I would put th mouse more to the left and deeper unter the bed, because it wouldn't be bad to show her in full, instead of cropping a part of the head.
Also it might be interesting, as the mouse is wearing a pyjama, to give an visual hint that she has her bed under the elephant's bed, instead of putting nothing under the bed.
It would be something in the shadows, so you would have to work with silhouettes that read well.
Or the mouse has her own lamp with dimm light, behind her. XD

About the colors: Are you only testing the hues which you want to work with, or are you going to color it in watercolor 1:1 this way?

Regarding the hues: In my opinion they work together much better than in your first attempt. The only thing I would change is the color of the mattress, as purple stands out and so something very unimportant becomes a focal point. Why not making it yellowish grey or greyish green? Some color that is already in a lot of places of the illustration, but greyed out so it's less important?
Also I think it would better fit the cushion to have a green tone, making it go together with the very cool leaf-blanket.

So the overall colors of the room would somehow resemble "jungle" - browns and greens - which I think is a very cool hint that (some) elephants live there.

[Geoffrey Mégardon]

Very interesting work!

I think there is no strong "no parallel lines to paper's edge" rule; it is just something to be aware of. The concept of Sarah Vandam is strong and had an horizontal line.

In terms of your current composition, I would say:

• maybe try not to cut-off the mouse or its head (the cover is covering it now), so it has a readable silhouette
• maybe use stronger lights and shadows (e.g. a night lighting with warm yellow vs blue) to make the scene a bit more dramatic and guiding the eyes to the mouse and elephant facial expression.
• maybe use more lines to guide the eyes to the mouse
• maybe make it a one page spread to strenghen the verticallity of the composition (mouse is under the elephant).

can't wait to see where you will be taking this illustration !

[Heather Foxwood]

thank you all for your very valuable critiques so far! 2 questions here—11 hours in and I am wondering if I am overworking things? Also is the lighting ok? I do not prefer this to be a very dark mottled piece.

[Jean Watson]

I don't have anything particularly important to add except that I'm thoroughly enjoying this thread (loved the initial sketch so that got me in!)

The book and torch do help with the storyline - that the mouse is caught in the act of reading - but I think the book might need to be a little smaller or at least the mouse needs to hold its own by comparison with the book. It's currently a bit lost. Others will be more expert on lighting issues but for me some colours could be lighter and brighter eg the elephant and the mouse.

Looking forward to seeing where this ends up!

[Geoffrey Mégardon]

@Heather-Foxwood That really depends, is it happening during the night? What kind of lighting do you have in mind?

11 hours and many more hours can happen, depending on the piece What is important I think is to move forwards when you feel it is time for you to move forwards.

[ArtistErin]

@Heather-Foxwood I LOVE this... your characters are so well done! Yes color is tricky. I wonder if you changed the color of the floor to a lighter tone, to make the mouse pop? And pull the mouse away from the bedspread a little more? Also group some of the elements in a more distant, less saturated detail? Just my two cents

[Heather Foxwood]

I want to thank everyone sooo much! I spent a few more hours on this, and at one point my husband was saying it was starting to look overworked so I did a bit more, and then.. I think it's time to stop before I wreck it. I never could have done this picture without you all helping! Thank you so much!

[Heather Foxwood]

I lied. Someone suggested this last change and I think that helps a ton.

[von_Nimmermehr]

@Heather-Foxwood hey! i think its reeeealy nice, i just have one suggestion, if you could make it a bit more dramatic by adding a layer of blue and use the soft light function i gave it a try already if you visually would like to see what i mean, but i thought maybe you could try it first.

Also you could try to make the light pop more to really show that its nighttime, the room is dark and the only big lightsource is the lamp.

Just tell me if you would like to see the picture

[Heather Foxwood]

@von_Nimmermehr I'd love to see the picture please! When I tried a blue layer on top it darkened everything to an extent I really didn't want for this one even with opacity. But I'm unfamiliar with a the soft light function? Is that in Photoshop? I used Procreate here but if I like what was done I might try importing to adjust that! Thanks!!

[von_Nimmermehr]

this is what i was thinking about, maybe you still think its too dark?

[von_Nimmermehr]

Im actually no expert in values i think @Griffin-McPherson has figured it out much better bye now than me.

But i tried this value comparison and what i understand is you have to have dark and bright areas and also lighter areas where you want your eye led to.

I think its really difficult, since i have not to much understanding of this value thing but the point is to avoid to stay in this mostly the same grey values and get more contrast in to your work. Please @everyone please correct me or add if necessary.

So just to show what i mean.

Thats my aproach

Thats yours.

[Griffin McPherson]

@von_Nimmermehr this is really well done! Also, I definitely don’t feel like I have value figured out, lol. I think that super bright lamp light is important to capture that feeling of how bright a bedside light is when you turn it on in the middle of the night. One small thing I might add is bringing sim light onto the elephant doll in the left corner. It just looks a bit odd to me that it’s as dark as it is given how close it is to the light source.

[Sarah VanDam]

@Heather-Foxwood This is looking so good!! Here are a couple more thoughts from me—I definitely am still trying to wrap my head around a lot of lighting and color concepts though, too, so I’m not sure what the most straightforward advice for that should be. But, here’s another draw-over:

One lighting thing I noticed is that one half of the bed skirt looks pink, while the other half is purple. I know you’re trying to light this, but I think it’s over-lit, such that your local color is getting washed out. @Lee-White recently gave me a similar critique on a piece I did, and suggested I go back and watch his class on light and shadows, which was really insightful. Essentially, when an object is lit, you should still be able to mostly see the color/tone that the object naturally is in the light.

Secondly, you might want to take a look at some fabric to get a better idea of how it folds and warps. Here are some photos of my own bed skirt:

Is my bed held up with buckets?
Yes.
Is it weird?
Yes.
Is it ACTUALLY my bed?
No. I’m renting. So whatever. I appreciate the creativity.

Lastly, I’m not sure what the stuffed elephant with the teacup really adds to the illustration. It draws a lot of attention, and it’s not quite believable to me that it could actually hold up the cup (either that, or the cup is on the ground behind it), so it raises some questions. To me, it actually kind of looks like a beggar, which is funny…

Love the details, like the drawings on the wall.