Seeking critique from other SVS members!

[Heather Foxwood]

@MimiHecher thank you so much! I'm seriously not great at backgrounds which is why I'm so excited SVS has classes on those. Could you please do that scribble to explain what you mean? I'm having a hard time visualizing it but it sounds like a great idea! Honestly, I'm doing this piece specifically to have something to add to my portfolio with a background beyond grass and trees so I am really grateful for your input.

[kirsten-mcg]

@Heather-Foxwood No problem! A fresh pair of eyes always helps. I've struggled with color a lot, especially with interior illustrations. Someone once gave me the advice that colors don't have to be realistic. So for example, walls and floors can be any color of the rainbow, not just brown or white. I think that's what helped me the most. So yes, I think your piece would work well as an analogous color piece. I might be biased though, because purple-blue analogous colors schemes happen to be one of my favorites lol!

[Cordelia F]

@Heather-Foxwood First of all, I love the drawing! It's so cute!

I've struggled with color a lot AND this is my first forum post (hooray!), meaning take my advice with as much salt as you need.

My first thought when I saw this (after noticing and loving the drawing) was that there might be too many colors going on. I'm in love with analagous color schemes! And I agree that the floor doesn't have to be a realistic color, especially in the dark.

Something I noticed as I looked at it again is that the most vivid/saturated color seems to be in the bed skirt. It seems like a lot of the advice on composition is about focusing the viewer's attention by using the most eye-catching colors, lighting, and contrast in the spot in the composition where you want the viewer's eye to go. So, maybe desaturate/gray out the bed skirt and make the jammies on the elephant a little more vivid.

[Heather Foxwood]

@MimiHecher I was wondering if this perspective works or if it still breaks the parallel perspective rule? ( image url)

[MimiHecher]

@Heather-Foxwood I'm sorry for letting you wait for so long! I've been quite busy the last day!
The new version of you elephant girl looks really fantastic and emotional and it reads SO well now, that she is afraid! I totally love it!

I'm not sure which style you prefer, but to me to this scenery a 3 point perspective would fit. I just randomly did the vanishing lines, they are far from correct, and also I might have chosen the wrong size of the furniture, but I would rotate the bed this way:

I would NOT recommend to show so much of the room, as it tales away focus of the elephant! I just needed to draw "outside the box" to get everything look right.

[Heather Foxwood]

Another stab at it. Thoughts?

[Sarah VanDam]

@Heather-Foxwood Hi Heather! Here’s me trying something: My first thought was that I couldn’t see the mouse in the first draft until you mentioned it. Maybe you could silhouette the mouse as a light shape against dark? Also, do you need the whole background? Maybe you could even do a spot illustration. Also, how could you design the props and the background to be more specialized to an elephant character? A tough question to answer, but it can make the illustration more interesting.

[MimiHecher]

@Heather-Foxwood Oh, this pov is pretty cool! Very good!

It seems like this illustration's purpose should rather be to show how cool you can visually tell emotions, and not how much interior you draw. Too much of the room just takes the focus away, I would even crop away a lot of the right side of the illu. No need to see the end of the bed. But it would be nice to see most of the bedside table.

[Heather Foxwood]

@MimiHecher thank you. I agree the bed was too much there. Messed with it again, practicing as a full page spread so nothing important is in the middle of the page. Are the colors going in the right direction? Shading and lighting is just a test so far. I’m struggling with a color scheme. The reason I am trying to add a background is my portfolio is lacking in those so Inam working to learn to draw interesting settings. My favorite thing to do is characters but I am sure if I want to get out there some sembelence of a setting is important.

[Chantal Goetheer]

@Heather-Foxwood the composition looks really good. The colours are tricky because when you turn the image to gray scale (see below) some parts of the bed are the same colour as the elephant so the elephant blends a bit into the bed. Also the mouse might be more emphasised in terms of contrast. Im no good with colours myself so can't really give more helpful thoughts. It was talked about in the magic of colour lessons. I get the idea but find the execution very hard. The small mouse and big elephant work really well with the angle and emotion.

[Heather Foxwood]

@Chantal-Goetheer oh my goodness thank you that helps a ton. I just joined SVS in January so I haven't gotten to take that course yet! But I never thought of running it through as a black and white to show contrast. I'll play with that more--again, thank you so much it helps a ton!

[MimiHecher]

@Heather-Foxwood Wow, this new composition is GREAT!
I love how you managed to put in a lot of children's stuff although you don't show much of the room!

I would put th mouse more to the left and deeper unter the bed, because it wouldn't be bad to show her in full, instead of cropping a part of the head.
Also it might be interesting, as the mouse is wearing a pyjama, to give an visual hint that she has her bed under the elephant's bed, instead of putting nothing under the bed.
It would be something in the shadows, so you would have to work with silhouettes that read well.
Or the mouse has her own lamp with dimm light, behind her. XD

About the colors: Are you only testing the hues which you want to work with, or are you going to color it in watercolor 1:1 this way?

Regarding the hues: In my opinion they work together much better than in your first attempt. The only thing I would change is the color of the mattress, as purple stands out and so something very unimportant becomes a focal point. Why not making it yellowish grey or greyish green? Some color that is already in a lot of places of the illustration, but greyed out so it's less important?
Also I think it would better fit the cushion to have a green tone, making it go together with the very cool leaf-blanket.

So the overall colors of the room would somehow resemble "jungle" - browns and greens - which I think is a very cool hint that (some) elephants live there.

[Geoffrey Mégardon]

Very interesting work!

I think there is no strong "no parallel lines to paper's edge" rule; it is just something to be aware of. The concept of Sarah Vandam is strong and had an horizontal line.

In terms of your current composition, I would say:

• maybe try not to cut-off the mouse or its head (the cover is covering it now), so it has a readable silhouette
• maybe use stronger lights and shadows (e.g. a night lighting with warm yellow vs blue) to make the scene a bit more dramatic and guiding the eyes to the mouse and elephant facial expression.
• maybe use more lines to guide the eyes to the mouse
• maybe make it a one page spread to strenghen the verticallity of the composition (mouse is under the elephant).

can't wait to see where you will be taking this illustration !

[Heather Foxwood]

thank you all for your very valuable critiques so far! 2 questions here—11 hours in and I am wondering if I am overworking things? Also is the lighting ok? I do not prefer this to be a very dark mottled piece.

[Jean Watson]

I don't have anything particularly important to add except that I'm thoroughly enjoying this thread (loved the initial sketch so that got me in!)

The book and torch do help with the storyline - that the mouse is caught in the act of reading - but I think the book might need to be a little smaller or at least the mouse needs to hold its own by comparison with the book. It's currently a bit lost. Others will be more expert on lighting issues but for me some colours could be lighter and brighter eg the elephant and the mouse.

Looking forward to seeing where this ends up!

[Geoffrey Mégardon]

@Heather-Foxwood That really depends, is it happening during the night? What kind of lighting do you have in mind?

11 hours and many more hours can happen, depending on the piece What is important I think is to move forwards when you feel it is time for you to move forwards.

[ArtistErin]

@Heather-Foxwood I LOVE this... your characters are so well done! Yes color is tricky. I wonder if you changed the color of the floor to a lighter tone, to make the mouse pop? And pull the mouse away from the bedspread a little more? Also group some of the elements in a more distant, less saturated detail? Just my two cents

[Heather Foxwood]

I want to thank everyone sooo much! I spent a few more hours on this, and at one point my husband was saying it was starting to look overworked so I did a bit more, and then.. I think it's time to stop before I wreck it. I never could have done this picture without you all helping! Thank you so much!

[Heather Foxwood]

I lied. Someone suggested this last change and I think that helps a ton.

[von_Nimmermehr]

@Heather-Foxwood hey! i think its reeeealy nice, i just have one suggestion, if you could make it a bit more dramatic by adding a layer of blue and use the soft light function i gave it a try already if you visually would like to see what i mean, but i thought maybe you could try it first.

Also you could try to make the light pop more to really show that its nighttime, the room is dark and the only big lightsource is the lamp.

Just tell me if you would like to see the picture