Help me get better plz :) - April WIP

  • Hello creative people! So I was hoping I could get some constructive feedback on my April WIP. Do you think the composition works? Is there anything you think would make it more interesting or anything that you think should be removed? I'm open to any feedback 🙂 My husband said that the concept is too "out there"... but he also thinks it's ok to put the toilet paper roll on backwards so I can't really trust his judgement. I need feedback from other creative minds. :)! Do you think the concept makes sense without words to help it? And if no how do think I should real it back in? (...Lisa is a very advanced robot-maker in my version lol)

    April robot Clean Sketch2 small.jpg

  • @Mary-Toth i think its a good idea and nicely done, give your husband a clip round hear ears. The only thing i would say is that the seals in the background could do with being seperated from robo-seal, its just reads as one big shape at the moment and it takes a second or two to make out whats going on. Also, his flippers look a bit like wings, he has a bit of a chickeny quality to him. It might help to turn the lines 90 degrees, or have riveted panels or something. Otherwise its pretty nice!

  • @gavpartridge thank you! I really appreciate your feedback. I didn't think about the flippers looking like wings but you're right those lines need some fading. I'll probably play around with the seal placement too. My thought process for that was that if they're all clustered in the background they take less focus away form the robo-seal but maybe they are actually competing for attention which didn't occur to me. Color would probably also help separate things visually. This gives me stuff to play with tomorrow. Thanks!

  • Hi @Mary-Toth, love this idea! Since it looks like there’s an audience, and to me, it appears Lisa is looking at someone, I sketched in a few audience members to add 3 layers of depth for your consideration. Please feel free to ignore, I’m still a beginner.

  • SVS OG

    I’d probably exaggerate the girl’s pose more and scatter the seals a bit. Other than that, I don’t see any issues. Great job!

  • @Jeremy-Ross this is hilarious! I love the idea of having someone in the audience taking a snap of it lol

  • Hi Mary!

    I love your shape language. It's so beautiful and elegant, and great robot design, holy cow!

    I'm probably a little slow, but it took me a while to figure out what was happening, and I made some slight changes to make it seem more obvious and chaotic. I also have it drilled into me that we should always be drawing the entire ellipse when trying to draw round objects in perspective. So that's what the orange oval is about. It may be helpful for the bucket as well.

    This is just my take, so take/leave/adjust whatever you think is useful to you. Great work! Can't wait to see the final version! ❤


Log in to reply