How to improve this piece?

  • @art-of-b Thank you! Great points. I can see what you mean! I shall see what I can do to fix it. Thanks again!

  • @jeanebean I may try and do a drawover at some point. Depends on what else happens to get in the way today ๐Ÿ™‚

  • @art-of-b That would be lovely, if you wanted to. No pressure, mind! Now that I am seeing the problem I am thinking about redrawing the piece altogether to make sure that the storks are the absolute focal point. I think with the house shape and colors, I am losing the battle here with the white windows against the red and the storks too close to the sky and the back. I thought in my thumbnail that it would work out to plan, but I can see now that the small value study either wasn't right or I strayed from it too much. (I am not actually sure where my problems lies in the construction of this piece- I mean at what point I lost the grasp on it)

  • I would keep working on it. I really think it's at that 85% phase where everything slows down and it never EVER feels like your making any difference and you really wanna restart but you should PRESS ON! The last 20% takes 80% of the time, right? ๐Ÿ™‚

  • @jeanebean

    Drawover! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I tried to just kind push and pull the darks and lights so that things contrasted a little more, sometimes giving an object a bit of an outline or halo.

    Removing some details of the tiles (great detail, by the way) seemed to help the birds pop a bit more.

    Dunno if everything I posted has been 'GOOD' advice, but this is how'd I try and tweak the image ๐Ÿ™‚

    0_1545007709610_svs draw over.jpg

  • Oh! it is subtle, but it seriously helps! Thank you so much for doing it! I'll try it next.

  • Wow!! So lovely. The advice given so far seems really helpful. Cooling down the bright white of the house a bit might help as well. My eye tends to settle on the line created by the shadow from the roof on the front of the building, even though that isn't the most important place to look. Thanks so much for sharing this piece and its process!

  • SVS OG

    @JeaneBean you watercolor skills is awesome. I especially love what you did on the roof and the storks. Given @Art of Bโ€™s critique, I think you can work on more on the girโ€™ls clothes. Her skirt flutters in an odd angle. I donโ€™t know if this is deliberate tho. If it is, then just forget what i said. I really like this piece.

  • @kathrynadebayo Thank you! I think I will give it a grey wash and maybe try to give it a little texture, too to make it recede a little.

  • @nyrrylcadiz Thank you! I am not seeing which angle of it is odd. Could you please clarify? I wanted the wind to be blowing from the right to the left to give it a little movement but I'm not great at drapery and skirts always confuse me. Any more feedback would be greatly appreciated!

  • Love this piece. It looks like the shadows are a bit inconsistent though, like on the people, and the house, the light is on the right as we look at it, with shadows going left, but on the nest, the left side of the nest casts no shadow. The beak does a bit, but a nest that size would cast a big shadow, probably covering the left window. The back bird would probably be in shadow too. Small fix though, and may help the birds 'pop' a bit.

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