Any Composition Feedback?

[Dawn Lawson]

I want to improve my composition approach. Not sure I'm sticking the landing with this illustration. Atmospheric perspective and focal point is what I'm currently grappling with. Any advice or study/practice suggestions, I'd greatly appreciate

[Teju Abiola]

@dawn-lawson Right now the highest point of contrast is the area with the bright part on the necklace and the pearls. The Bird also takes more focus than the face because of line weight and lighting. The lighting overall is confusing, and I'm not sure where to look. Try putting a grayscale layer over it and checking the value structure to make sure the focal point is where you want it. I think solving the value issues would help.

[robgale]

@dawn-lawson It looks like you have some beautiful drawing going on here, and I really like the color palette you've chosen!
I have to agree with @Teju-Abiola in that the lighting right now is pretty confusing. I'm having a hard time telling what is what, and what exactly is happening right now. I think if you separated the elements a bit more, ie showing the form of the girl, the form of the bird, and keeping each of those more distinct from each other, I think that would help.

There's some really nice stuff you have going on here, and I think if you clear it up a bit that would really make the image read better.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

Hi, Dawn. I don’t want to be rude but right now, i am very lost.

1. I don’t know where to focus my attention on your piece. Everything is so dark yet at the same time there are multiple points of high contrast, fighting for attention.
2. I would also like to point out the consistency of your rendering. I understand that you could highly render your main character and leave the background more simple, more flat. It’s a design choice. It helps the viewers know which is more important. I do it all of the time. However, i feel like the rendering on the girl compared to that of the crane is just off. It makes me feel like you gave up on one of them. The pearls look beautiful but are they your main subjects? If not, then you should tone them down. They’re stealing the attention from the girl.
3. Another issue I would like to point out is the texture on the girl’s hair. The texture looks like the ones you see on a rock surface. I don’t know if that’s what your going for though. If you wanted to show the under water wave shadows, perhaps you can use wavy lines instead.
4. Another issue are the bubbles. Because of their size and amount, i feel like they are just cluttering up the space. I suggest using less and increasing the size.
5. The rays. I feel like there’s too much. A ray of light can help you a lot with composition. It draws your eyes on where to look. However, if you have a lot, it also draws your eyes to alot of things, confusing you where to focus. Choose what is your main subject. Focus your light on it and use weaker light on the other things.
   I’m sorry if all I said were negative things. I think you really have something great happening here and i want to help you improve. I hope this helps.

[Dawn Lawson]

@nyrrylcadiz No, no! This is all PERFECT advice. You've pretty much said all the things I thought after looking at the finished piece. I did lose track of where I wanted to place focus and then tried to make up for that using a bunch of stuff I ultimately didn't need lol. Thus, I over rendered. Thank you so much and no need to apologize. I asked and you gave me what I asked for in the end, so thanks again.

[Dawn Lawson]

@robgale Thanks for this advice! The consistency of the feedback I've been getting confirms where I need to tweak my approach: establishing focus lol Everyone's confused when looking at this, and confirmed my gut feeling to scrap this initially. I'm gonna re-do this illustration at some point and apply your suggestions. They really help a lot.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@dawn-lawson thanks i’m excited to see your final piece