WIP - personal project

MissMushy · 27 Nov 2017, 15:37

Have taken advice to develop skills by working on a personal project for a children's story for family about an adventurous moose . I am new to digital and am working on improving my drawing skills - so basically a beginner. Any feedback/critiques are welcome !

tombarrettillo · 28 Nov 2017, 19:35

@missmushy This is a nice start. Hope you don't mind, but I did a quick (very rough) draw over to give you an idea of what I think needs to change.

Your moose looks too happy to be being chased by a monster, and needs a bit more dynamics to show that he is running. The monster might work better if there was more of him showing in 3/4 view, and if he was closer to the moose. And be mindful not to crop off any important part of your characters, like the monster's hand at the top. Lastly, while it's not an absolute, you will find many picture book illustration have the action going from left to right, in essence to help move the story/characters from one scene to the next, in the same direction we read.

Hope this helps!

MissMushy · 29 Nov 2017, 15:03

@tombarrettillo Absolutely don't mind at all! Thanks for taking the time to give me feedback. Good tip about flipping action to go left to right - never thought of that. I think I need to redesign Montgomery (that's the moose) his stubby arms and legs are making it difficult for me to show movement. I think he's cute right now but maybe cute doesn't help tell the story.
Will get back to work! Thanks again - really appreciate it.

rcartwright · 29 Nov 2017, 15:50

I think you would benefit from posting the piece in the stages starting with the thumbnails for composition this way you will get some good feedback at each stage. Right now you a fun idea.

MissMushy · 29 Nov 2017, 16:02

@rcartwright ok good idea - will do that for next one. Thanks for the advice!

Will Terry · 1 Dec 2017, 03:34

@missmushy I took the liberty of giving you a little draw over. I wanted to address a few things in your drawing.

If you put the monster behind the tree it will help with the story of "surprise"...the moose can't see the monster until he/she jumps out.
My number one rule for character design is: Give your character at least one attribute that will instantly tell your viewer what kind of character it is. In this case I gave your moose the horns that horizontally protrude from the skull before they go into the branches.
The gesture of your monster is very important. If he's going to try to grab the moose you need to recreate the gesture of grabbing - if pounding or clubbing or punching you need to nail the mechanics of those actions. Even if you need to draw it in stick form - that is often a better start when you're struggling with the pose.

I really hope this helps - I'm happy to help

MissMushy · 1 Dec 2017, 03:34

@will-terry Will - Thanks soooo much for the feedback! Really appreciate you taking the time to do the draw over and share your critique - it is very generous of you. I see what you mean about the moose antlers - it does read more directly as 'moose' while my version could be a reindeer.
I have been struggling with poses in general so will try the stick figure thing. Thanks again - this has been a great help!

Cheers!