Drawing Fundamentals/Inking sketch - could you make a critique?

[Lola]

@tessw
Thank you, Tess!

This is exactly the problem I have with hatching here. I'm almost finished with the course Drawing Fundamentals where the instructor says not to put too many lines on women's faces (which makes sense to me) and he does this portrait in which he merely suggest some of the lines. So I did one basically copying what he did (I haven't shown it here) and did another (this one) where I tried to treat the face just as lightly.This is why there is little value on her eyes and mouth. But when I tried to do this with her nose, it just looked strange. So I added the hatching. This is exactly what I'm not sure about - in a pencil it's easier, but what to highlight and what to just leave out in a drawing made with a pen – I don't know.

[TessaW]

@lola I'd encourage you to post the other study you mention as well as the reference you copied it from. If you are trying to apply a certain rendering style it will help to see it, so we know how to guide you to make it work. There are too many rendering styles out there to be able to guide you effectively. If we don't know what you are trying to achieve, we can't help you get there.

[Lola]

@tuthie

Thanks, now I get it. Actually, that's intentional. I watched the course How to Ink and got the impression that I could use different lines to draw diferrent textures and obtain different effects within the same drawing. I tried to use thinner and wobblier lines for the ribbon in her hair, a thicker line for the outline of her head and hand, and thiner and shorter lines for the chin, etc.). I'm not saying they are just as they should be, but I wanted them to differ

[Lola]

@tessw

Yeah, you're right.

This is what I saw on the course (it's not a ready drawing, the course is more about drawing shapes):

And this is what I did:

It's messy and has obvious flaws, the left eye is the biggest I think.

What I would like to achieve is a clean drawing in this style, ie not too much shading, black and white.

[TessaW]

I wonder if you are putting the cart before the horse? Something I hear over and over again in SVS classes as well as elsewhere, is that you need to get the structure right before moving onto the details. I would ask yourself if perhaps you are focusing your studies in the wrong place for now. Focusing on getting spacial relationships down, proportion, and understanding what you are drawings as a 3d form goes a very long way in knowing how to apply your details and where to place your shadows and values. It seems to me like you are taking the Drawing Fundamentals class, but you are not really applying what he is teaching, instead you are trying to jump to the detail and rendering phase, without spending much thought on structure. I feel like a more effective way to learn is to start with the structure. Really pound out studies focusing on structure without worrying about making a pretty picture. You can slowly start to introduce rendering techniques, but really strive to understand the structure of the drawing first and foremost.

[Lola]

@tessw
Which one do you mean? The first one or the other? The other I didn't want to put here precisely because it's not a good drawing in the first place. And I could see some of the flaws of the 1st one, but I thought there's got to be more that I can't see.

Today I've got another one. This time I used drawing pens and a tad better paper, I also scanned the image so that it's not distorted. I've already spotted two mistakes myself and corrected them (by gluing small pieces of paper on them, so it shows on the original). I'm pretty happy with it, although the model feels too slim and too tall when compared to the foto, his hat may be too big as well.

What do you thing? I'm sure that, again, there is something I can't see (even using the mirror).

And this is the photo I used (there is a gutter, so I had to do a bit of a guessing about how the arm looks):

[tombarrettillo]

This guy looks pretty good—the line work, the hatching.... The only thing that is really off is his expression and his head needs to be a bit bigger. Also, one thing with hatching that helps with form, is to curve the lines in the direction of the form. You got his right arm good, but the left, esp the upper arm, looks flat since the hatching is straight lines. And, start your hatching as dark as the line that forms the shape. Again, the right arm is good. Hatching lines need to be darker on the left.

[Lola]

@tombarrettillo

Thank you, Tombarrettillo! Yes, the head looks definitely too small. Thanks for the tips about the hatching. I'll try to do some excercises to practise curving the line and unifying the darkness of the lines. Great, thanks!

And about his expression - do you thinks it's because it lacks some lines, wrinkles maybe? Or that there's something wrong with the proportions of his face?

[tombarrettillo]

I'd say his face is too much in the center. Offset it to his left more, but keep the chin and lower jar where they are. If you look again at him, it's as if his mouth is going for the food while he tries to stay focused on the viewer. And look at his nose again; you are missing the "point" at the end of his nose above his upper lip.

[Lola]

@tombarrettillo

You're 100% right. Thanks. I imposed the drawing on the original photo and just cut the drawing and pasted the pieces so that they match the original. Here is the before and after. It shows where the faults are, how his body is too much to the front. Cool.