Starving for Validation
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I know Lee has given tips on how to tell your art is actually good. I also know the HTFYA competition is not a place to find validation. But how do I find validation when I'm a stay at home mom with not a lot of access to the illustration community outside of SVS? I dream of being a cartoonist/graphic novelist and have a weekly webcomic I publish as well as a short story comic I plan on publishing next spring, but I feel like I just need an "attagirl" from someone who isn't a family or friend. Where do you find those when Social Media is like the echo chamber of lost voices?
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@ksfabian I think seeking external validation in the first place is a losing battle. You make your own happiness, confidence and success dependent on something you can't control. In the end, drawing is a solitary pursuit where you're only in competition with yourself: to improve your own skills and get better than the artist you were yesterday.
External validation may feel good in the moment, but soon it's not enough and you seek more. Because in the end, it's no replacement for feeling at peace and confident with where you are with your own art.
External critique can be very helpful to learn and improve though, and you can find this in many places online like this forum!
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@ksfabian the minute you worry about validation is the minute you get off track of what you are actually trying to do. Are you making art to please others or yourself? Like I have heard said before, you make the art you love, and others will find it. If you worry about making art for the masses, some may like it, but you will eventually burn out. You have to love the art you are doing no matter who sees it, likes it, or shares it. Not everyone, even those close to you, are going to share your passion. And that’s ok. Once you can let go of others’ approval, you may find you have less roadblocks to reaching your goals. Stop sharing your art with family members if that what it takes. I highly recommend taking a break from sharing on social media. Just make the art you want to create and see how much progress you make.
The fact that you are doing a weekly webcomic as a stay-at-home mom says a lot. And you have set goals for future art projects. Attagirl!!
You just have to keep at it, which I know from experience is not easy. I am going on my 15th year trying to get "good enough" to be a childrens illustrator. I have had many life circumstances get in the way as well, but I have continued to draw as time allowed. I got off IG this year and that has been a huge game changer. I no longer draw for the "crowd" or "algorithm", but for myself and the projects I am creating.
this article is a good read:
https://www.thepersistentartist.com/am-i-a-good-enough-artist/and here are a couple resources I found that you might look into:
https://forum.webcomicscommunity.com/
https://webcomicshub.com/
https://webcomicday.com/ -
I know you all are right. I go for months and months happily working on projects, focused on my goals and then one blip will send me into a nervous pile, seeking validation. I think for me it's just the need to get more than just the thumbs up from my spouse and my mom. But ultimately, it's just me that needs to approve of what I'm doing. I'm actually feeling pretty good about things right now because I just finished printing and putting together my first mini comic I'm giving out in leu of a Christmas card. And It really does look better than my work a few weeks ago.
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@ksfabian you're the only one who can truly validate your work because you are the only one truly invested in it. It's only true value is what you as the creator give it. No one else can do that.
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I hear your struggle. I think it's human nature to want to hear you're doing a good job. It's built-in as a part of our human conditioning and is part of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. It's not healthy to attempt "being strong" and trying to live without it. Validation is a necessary and healthy requirement of human existence, so you're not expecting too much. You're not being selfish or weak or distracted or somehow falling down on the job to expect validation for your artistic endeavors.
There's something quite warped when we tell each other to just pull up our big girl pants and get used to doing without. No one can. We all need to be told once in a while that we're doing something right and we're on the right path. It's cruel and disingenuous to tell someone they shouldn't need it.
In my opinion, our problem comes in when we try to get it from places that can't truly give it to us. Social media is probably not the best place to receive authentic validation, even though it's sold on that very basis: "Connect with your community! Engage! Build the circle you want!" Those are only half-truths. Especially in today's landscape of platforms. So where do we go?
Family and friends are good, but inevitably somewhat biased. Critique groups are hard to find. Paid professional feedback can go both ways--and by default probably shouldn't be all sunshine and roses.
It seems like all we can do is rely upon ourselves to pick ourselves up and keep going. And when you have a strong goal or purpose, it can sometimes buoy the soul when it becomes dark.
I have to wonder if maybe we need to differentiate between validation and reach. It's easier to get validation when more people see your work to give you that validation. And it would seem that more validation means we're obviously, clearly doing something right... So I have to wonder if more eyes and more capacity for response from those eyes is being conflated with "I'm doing good work."
So logically the solution is to cross-post to every possible platform out there to get as much exposure as you possibly can so there are lots of opportunities to get positive responses. Right? No. Because the platforms aren't there for you. They're there to use you to make money for themselves. Response does not equate quality. Clickbait is more valuable than quality--whatever they need to get eyes scrolling over their ads.
My advice is to dial down the importance of validation, and sometimes that means forcing what everyone tells you is an appropriate amount of it into a much smaller box. And when you can expand the other parts of your world that also fit into your definition of what being an illustrator means, then those gold stars we yearn for become less... necessary. Don't downplay your need for validation, instead fill up the rest of your illustration world with other things so you don't seek it as much.
Because the need won't go away. You're going to have to live with that. We all do.
But when your "blips of need" flare up, remember that's just part of human nature. Try to put it in its place and maybe find another human need on that Hierarchy to indulge, so the amount of affirmation you need doesn't feel so strong and its absence becomes a glaring vulnerability that can cause tailspins. There are times when stoicism can be a healthy defense.
My 2¢.
Children's Illustration Portfolio: https://www.coreyartusillustration.com
Art Portfolio: https://www.coreyartusimagery.com
Mastodon: https://mindly.social/@Coreyartus
Pixelfed: https://pixelfed.social/Coreyartus -
Hey there! I am a dad at home here.
I guess I am a bit looking for validation too. It is more like I would like John Space to find his audience, so that I know I am making the comic for some people. As artists, it is natural to want to reach people. But it would also be validation that I am good at it.
But mainly, what I struggle with the most is the loneliness. SVSLearn, because of its forum format is one of the few place where we can have real conversations with people. But mainly the online space is social media dominated, and I have difficulties to have meaningful interactions through these media. To be seen as a coworker by other artists, be retweeted or cited, would also help validation.
In social media, I am flooded with drawing of talented illustrators and comic artists but then in real life, I have nobody around me doing comics/illustrations to speak with. I did not have the chance to go to an art school, all my friends are researchers in psychology
! To create relationships with other comic artists near my location is also challenging because, well, everyone is busy, and I also have to make friends with people who have a kid for my son to have friends too In conclusion, what I am saying is that the advice “we should not be chasing validation” is not necessarily true.
I do believe that we should love doing our craft just for the sake of our craft, yes. But I also believe that the validation issue is intimately linked to a feeling of loneliness and feeling our work is not serving any purpose. As artists, we want to reach people. One of the most powerful moments of my life was when I saw people playing a video game that I’ve made and have fun “as if it was a real game”. Because I did make a real game! And this validation moment stays engraved in my heart: that day, I reached people, as I never did before.
To optimise our Instagram strategy to increase our followers may give us a fake validation feeling, but to actually find a message we want to share, find an audience for it and make friends, I believe is the real deal. I have trained 2 year and a half to be able to draw John Space as he is today, and I have almost no follower. But, my nephew asked Santa Klaus to bring him drawing tools for Christmas so he could draw like his uncle. To reach 100 followers did not make me cry, but that did…
Validation does not necessarily come from Instagram
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@Coreyartus I can see where you're coming from, but slightly confused by your advice. You're saying don't downplay it, but dial it down. Doesn't that amount to the same thing in the end?
Although you're saying the need for validation won't go away, for me it did. When I became really at peace with what I'm creating, focused on what I want to work on and satisfied with slow, steady improvement, I genuinely don't feel like I need that external validation anymore. At least, not in this area of my life! I think Maslow's hierarchy of needs refers to getting validations in different ways and for many different things, like validation in our relationships. I don't think he meant that we need in it every single thing we do, in every single area of our lives. There ARE things we do in life that we truly DGAF what others think about it. And art can be one of those with the right mindset, because it's a very self-fulfilling endeavor.
Don't get me wrong, when someone praises my art it feels good! But I don't feel sad, deprived or unmotivated when I don't get it. At least not anymore! It took a long time to get to this point. But now, I truly don't feel like I have anything to prove to anyone but myself anymore.
vanessastoilova.com
instagram.com/vanessa.stoilova/Check out my Youtube channel for tips on how to start your career in illustration! www.youtube.com/c/ArtBusinesswithNess
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@ksfabian I think you've received great advice, and yet... I strongly relate to what you said and I know that when I have been surrounded by a strong artistic community, my efforts and success have been pushed forward, without a doubt.
I think being active in a friendly online art community like in discord, not instagram, can help. And I can only offer my own company if you'd like it, as I too am a mother of two young kids, with a dream of having my own webcomic and publishing my own stories, so maybe we could help each other along?
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@Geoffrey-Mégardon @Coreyartus @NessIllustration
I will argue that we in fact do not need to chase validation. Whether you are lonely or isolated or just want to know what you are doing is making a difference, you can't force any of it. I, like Ness, have come to a place where I no longer actively seek validation for my art. That always lead to disappointment. Though it does still creep up on me to want to post what I am working on here in the forums, or re-open my IG account. It is a battle we all have to fight. For me, it has become a lot easier. Maybe it is because I am older (will be 51 in March).If you recall, Jake mentioned something about making a difference in one of the podcasts. He talked of a mother sending him an email stating that her son, who was in the hospital for an extended time, thrived on Missle Mouse during his stay. And Geoffery's nephew asking for art supplies so he can draw like his uncle. That is the validation you should be after. That is the ultimate end result of the work we do. Not likes, shares, or re-tweets.
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@NessIllustration Yeah, I guess I didn’t make anything clear there, did I?
It’s kind of like grief. It doesn’t go away. But from some perspectives, the rest of your life grows around it and it becomes part of you but not the overwhelming presence it once was because other aspects of your life have shifted/grown/developed. Proportions of the need for validation change, but that need will never go away. I think there’s a lot we can do as illustrators that can help shift/grow/develop the proportions of our desire for validation in respect to the other aspects of being an illustrator.
