@jvartandillustration said in Looking for feedback on a piece:
a girl reading to her mother in the hospital
This concept isn't coming across for me. I couldn't tell that the girl is reading. Even after reading the concept, it's hard to tell she's holding a book. The foreground character is so dark, that all of my attention is carried past it to the person in the hospital bed. Since both faces are in shadow, the message I see in the picture is "in the hospital".
I also didn't get the distinction of an age difference. If it's an adult, I think her feet would be hidden behind the end of the bed.
To me, it doesn't make sense for a child to be reading to someone who is asleep. I could see an adult doing that, but not a kid (unless maybe if the sick person is comatose). If a child is visiting someone, the visitors would probably leave when the sick person is resting. Also, who brought the girl to the hospital? Wouldn't there be another adult or at least a teenager? Although, an extra person could be left out if it was cropped in tighter.
I also agree with the comment that the visitor is too far away. More often than not, it's very cramped in hospital rooms. The curtain implies that this is a two-bed hospital room, so the visitors would be even closer than in a one-bed hospital room.
Other than that, you've done a good job on the medical equipment and environment.
Adding illustrations with a heavier emotion is a smart choice. I agree with the other comments that the subject matter of being in the hospital provides enough solemnity, so you can lighten up the characters & expressions.
You might even consider going so far as having the girl cuddling in bed with her sick mom (depending on whether it's contagious). Or you could have another adult holding the girl on their lap while she reads to her mom.
Good work so far!
