Glow no!
-
Here’s my submission for glow. The story is about three undersea adventurers who have been tasked to gather special glowing crystals…something has a different plan.
I know the main ‘glow’ thread isn’t for critiques, so if anyone could help me out with some ways to improve I’d appreciate it. Thanks!
-
Hi @ThomCharles, nice story! And very clear what other plans are coming. I would get rid of the jelly fish though. By the tentacles and the vehicle it's already clear what the setting is. It's so busy now and the jelly fish distract from where to look. And maybe see what you can do with changing some colours? The kids in the submarine seem too brightly lit and don't seem to fit well with the rest of the colours. It does draw the eye to them.
-
@ThomCharles This is a fun story! It's easy to read what's going on, which is great. I agree with @Chantal-Goetheer that the colors seem off. Maybe try changing the yellow light to a light blue or purple. To me, it feels like it wants to be an analogous color scheme instead of complements. The jelly fish are a little distracting, and they also kind of all feel the same. There's not a lot of variation. Maybe try using less of them and making sure that they are different from each other. You've already got small medium large going on with them, which is great. You could also try zooming out a little to give the ship that the kids are in a little more breathing room. I love the expressions on the kids faces by the way! How the girl is just intent on the crystals and the dog and the boy realize that there is a monster. It gives the story fun layers and makes the illustration hold our attention for longer!
-
Hi @Chantal-Goetheer, thank you for your help. I was afraid the composition might be getting a little confusing. My story actual evolved from the ‘glowing’ jellyfish…then I added the sub and the kids, then the octopus, and then the crystals. By that point the jellyfish were kinda irrelevant. I did like the idea of multiple glowing elements, the jellyfish, the interior of the sub, the crystals. In the end I thought that would be really confusing. Looking back now I would have liked to switch out the jellys with some other fun undersea creatures…thanks again for your help.
-
Hi @kirsten-mcg. Thanks for taking the time to give me some direction. I did find the color palette tricky, there were so many light sources…the ambient blue of the water, all the glowing elements, the atmospheric perspective. I hear what you are saying about the interior, yellow lights. I really wanted them to define the interior space as separate from the underwater world. Also, it gave me a chance to frame the kids and really focus the attention. I also liked a bouncy color palette to add a cartoonish element to it. From a values point of view I kept thinking, ‘ok keep everything else dark and only have light on the glowing spots’, I think I might have taken that too far and now it’s kinda too dark over all. Thank you again for your help!
-
@ThomCharles I did a quick drawover of possible changes.
I like the concept of this illustration and it is drawn well. I did a quick draw-over because I am a visual person and sometime it is easier to just show rather than tell what I am talking about. I hope that that is okay.
- I found that the characters in the vehicle didn't look like they were behind glass so I added some reflection to indicate that. I did it quickly so you can make it look better. I also toned down the yellow light in the vehicle a behind the characters.
- I also darkened the crystals in the box as well as the one in the foreground so there weren't such a focal point.
- I tried to get rid of the holes of light on the top because they were drawing too much attention.
- I also didn't notice the octopus the first time so I tried to bring it out more by putting its tentacles on the glass.
- I pushed back some of the jellyfish by darkening them, and I think you darken all of them though since they make be drawing too much attention.
I think it is a nice concept and you have a lot of great things happening, there is just a lot going on. I think you can have a lot of stuff, just tone the less important things down so you can emphasize the important parts.
-
@Kim-Rosenlof Wow! That is so effective! Every point was an improvement. I did think about the reflections on the glass, but ran out of time (no excuse). I'm going to make these changes and repot it. Thank you again!
-
@Kim-Rosenlof I also just saw you got rid of the side port hole lights...I think sometimes I fall in love with a detail that doesn't really serve the greater good, case in point.
