need some fresh eyes as always :D

Tom Burchell

any feedback would be awesome! give me them fresh eyess!!! thanksss

![alt text]( image url)

Melissa_Bailey

@Tom-Burchell Love the composition! Really nice storytelling. One thing that is unclear to me: is that porridge on her face? It feels more like a distraction instead of helping tell the story. Looking forward to seeing what you do with this!

Tom Burchell

@Melissa-Bailey-0 thank you so much :). And your so right about the porridge on the face it is really distracting haha

Matthew Oberdier

I like it, are you doing the values next?

K.Flagg

I would exaggerate her hair length on the right just a tad more where it lines up with papa bear...it's not quite a tangent but it's close. Great image though! This is going to be a great piece.

Mari1-9Munive

I'm not sure if you're going to add color, or it is the finish work, but if you are planning to let it like this maybe it will be better if you add a black color to the little mouse, cause it is a little bit difficult to see at first sight

Melissa_Bailey

@Tom-Burchell we need those fresh eyes, don't we?

Tom Burchell

@K-Flagg !!! Thank god for this forum! haha how did that get missed!!! Awesome spot ty!! :D!! Phew!!

Tom Burchell

@Matthew-Oberdier i sure am :D! All the way to colour.

Tom Burchell

@Mari1-9Munive yep going to colour just doing values atm so I managed to get mouse to pop

Asyas_illos

This is really great and I disagree I actually think the porridge on her face says a lot about her character.

aska

Porridge is cool , but maybe move it closer to her mouth? I am not sure about eyebrows tho...a bit too big and makes her bit angry? shouldn't she be more delighted? Overally very fun piece tho!

Asyas_illos

I like the stories about Goldilocks that portray her as a hooligan, cuz she is! She has terrible manners as well as breaking and entering?!...

carlianne

@Tom-Burchell I love the composition and character design!

I’m kind of wondering about her expression though. Right now she looks kinda suspicious but she hasn’t seen the bears so I’m not totally sure what she is reacting to.

I’m wondering if it would be stronger emotionally to have her fully happy and ignorant, or to be looking more towards the bears like she just saw them and it is the moment right before she reacts

Is just a little unclear right now

Edit: I just saw the mouse, so maybe make sure that pops later but even then I’m not fully getting what emotion she’s expressing ️

Also, just wondering if the bears should be bigger? I think right now we see about the same amount of her as we do the bears, might be fun if it was more 1/3 girl 2/3 bears

So fun though, it’s going to be a great piece!

chrisaakins

@Tom-Burchell Maybe you could do this with value, but it seems like I saw things in this order: Bears, Girl, Mouse. I think it should read Girl, Mouse, Bear to follow the story better. Brighter colors on her and more contrast on both her and the mouse would do it. The strong bIack dots of the noses and eyes of the bears draw my attention first because they have the strongest contrast. If the bears recede a bit with darker tones/values it would read better in my opinion, especially if you rendered her and the mouse with brighter more saturated colors. I agree with @carlianne about the expression. Maybe it could be more of a "huh?" look on her face, as in, what are you pointing at? Both eyebrows raised would do it, I think.

Feel free to completely disregard!

Fun story and character design. I look forward to seeing the end product.