Quick second entry/March contest!!

[Georgios Christopoulos]

Hello hello!!
Rumor has it that in the dark dungeons of the forums, we are allowed multiple entries!!
Awesome news right?
Decided to throw one in the mix quickly.
This is Steven the wingless dragon!
His creator forgot to draw him wings,forcing him to go on a journey on foot!
Was tempted to make a comic book page character introduction with my first entry but did not.
So I will try it with this poor fella.

Check out my first entry for this month,Belzie !
https://forum.svslearn.com/topic/11091/march-traveler-first-approach-would-love-some-feedback/46


[K.Flagg]

He's cute! But I still want to see the one with the fish on his head lol.

[Tiffany Thomas]

I love this idea, it's a super creative way of showing the character in all the poses!!!

[Georgios Christopoulos]

@K-Flagg hah! Don't know if I ll manage a third one!!
@Tiffany-Thomas thanks so much!!!

[Georgios Christopoulos]

Update on the second entry!!!
Hopefully I ll make it!!
Steven the wingless dragon!!
Just a creative spin on character presentation!

[Tiffany Thomas]

@Georgios-Christopoulos I love this so much!

[braden H]

@Georgios-Christopoulos

Awesome! I love it so far

I was expecting the last bit of dialogue to go along the lines of:

"Wait, where's my wings! I need wings!"
"Cards on the table... I dunno how to draw wings."
"Wait, what?"
"It's fine. you'll be fine!"
"Hey! Hey I need those wings!"
"Welp, off you go! Have fun!"

[Georgios Christopoulos]

@Tiffany-Thomas thanks so much!!
@Braden-Hallett thanks Braden!Actually your idea was pure gold!!Loved it and surely enough tweeked the bubbles inspired by your idea! really thanks!! Have you finished you devilish kid??

[Georgios Christopoulos]

Here is a little tweek on the speech bubbles on this!!thanks a lot @Braden-Hallett
Do you native english speakers here see any typo??
next is colouring!also I ll keep the rendering really simple on this one!

[braden H]

@Georgios-Christopoulos Noice! I'm lovin' it.

@Georgios-Christopoulos said in Quick second entry/March contest!!:

Do you native english speakers here see any typo

Hope you don't mind but I took my english teacher red marker to it Not a lot of typos, but a few style guide things.

In general you should try and restrict yourself to "!" "?" "!?" and maaaaaaaaaaybe under extreme special circumstances "!!!" but you should save that extra special triple exclamation for really REALLY important things.

I'd suggest not doing the double exclamation and double question. Unless things have changed significantly in literature it's not done for the most part.

Also added a comma and an apostrophe. Added an ellipse after "now" at the beginning because it seemed stylistically appropriate.

But really, your grammar's pretty solid!

[Georgios Christopoulos]

@Braden-Hallett Thanks for those spelling checks!! laughed at the red marker,I half expected a score at the end

[Georgios Christopoulos]

I believe today is the day I shall finish this one!!
And also, I ll finish the first one that I thought I had already finished..

[lizardillo]

@Georgios-Christopoulos I like the narrative in this. Made me laugh

[Jacy13]

@Georgios-Christopoulos I love that he's a wingless dragon. Great idea and awesome execution!

[Georgios Christopoulos]

@lizardillo mission accomplished then!!! Thanks!
@Jacy13 thanks Jacy!!!

[Tiffany Thomas]

@Georgios-Christopoulos Soooooo awesome!!!!! Love him!!!!

[willicreate]

@Georgios-Christopoulos You too chose an unconventional presentation. Love that. Way to sell it.

[Georgios Christopoulos]

@Tiffany-Thomas thanks a lot Tiffany!!
@willicreate haha!that was the plan Will! thanks a lot,happy you like it!