Quick second entry/March contest!!
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@K-Flagg hah! Don't know if I ll manage a third one!!
@Tiffany-Thomas thanks so much!!! -
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@Georgios-Christopoulos I love this so much!
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Awesome! I love it so far
I was expecting the last bit of dialogue to go along the lines of:
"Wait, where's my wings! I need wings!"
"Cards on the table... I dunno how to draw wings."
"Wait, what?"
"It's fine. you'll be fine!"
"Hey! Hey I need those wings!"
"Welp, off you go! Have fun!" -
@Tiffany-Thomas thanks so much!!
@Braden-Hallett thanks Braden!Actually your idea was pure gold!!Loved it and surely enough tweeked the bubbles inspired by your idea! really thanks!! Have you finished you devilish kid?? -
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@Georgios-Christopoulos Noice! I'm lovin' it.
@Georgios-Christopoulos said in Quick second entry/March contest!!:
Do you native english speakers here see any typo
Hope you don't mind but I took my english teacher red marker to it Not a lot of typos, but a few style guide things.
In general you should try and restrict yourself to "!" "?" "!?" and maaaaaaaaaaybe under extreme special circumstances "!!!" but you should save that extra special triple exclamation for really REALLY important things.
I'd suggest not doing the double exclamation and double question. Unless things have changed significantly in literature it's not done for the most part.
Also added a comma and an apostrophe. Added an ellipse after "now" at the beginning because it seemed stylistically appropriate.
But really, your grammar's pretty solid!
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@Braden-Hallett Thanks for those spelling checks!! laughed at the red marker,I half expected a score at the end
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@Georgios-Christopoulos I like the narrative in this. Made me laugh
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@Georgios-Christopoulos I love that he's a wingless dragon. Great idea and awesome execution!
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@lizardillo mission accomplished then!!! Thanks!
@Jacy13 thanks Jacy!!! -
@Georgios-Christopoulos Soooooo awesome!!!!! Love him!!!!
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@Georgios-Christopoulos You too chose an unconventional presentation. Love that. Way to sell it.
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@Tiffany-Thomas thanks a lot Tiffany!!
@willicreate haha!that was the plan Will! thanks a lot,happy you like it!